P2180 I dig my nose

I dig my nose, I go really close,

To my brain in the digging. 

Gold to be found, a plan very sound, 

I think I really know what I'm doing. 

But people are mean to me, I see,

No real reason why.

Sure I'm slow, my shit doesn't flow,

And something growing on my eye.

But my boogers are big, like a ripe fig,

And like a fig, there are insects in them.

I eat them whole, store in casserole, 

They never taste always the same.

This my life, it's full of strife, 

A neverending saga of diarrhea. 

Who knew that it would be this hard,

To assemble a plastic life from Ikea.

P2179

P2178

P2177 The rent is sky high

The rent is sky high, can't afford to buy,

The house is stuck in my throat. 

I thought I'll live happily ever after,

Float boats on the dreamy moat.

But fuck my fate, I'm deep in debt, 

Don't even have a decent job.

I have a family who are, ma'am or sir,

Forced to eat corn on the cob.

Scared to death, an inconvenient breath, 

Don't want to live like shit.

If we don't own the house, 

The bank owns everything in it.

Other species don't have this problem, 

As hunter gatherers neither did we.

Suffice to say I'll look elsewhere, 

For a roof on top of me.

P2176 A turd just fell

Can you tell a turd just fell,

This is my shitting face.

My real life is spent shitting, 

I can shit on just about any surface. 

People are cold, and I'm getting old,

Sometimes I can't take shit anymore. 

These days ends don't meet,

I can't even afford a cheap whore.

Calendar of gods, cheap drunk sods,

That's the crowd in my life.

Food taken out, anarchy and rout,

A hooligan's usual and daily strife. 

I don't know, what seeds to sow,

The future looks fucked up to me.

The tunnel is dark, maybe a park,

Not blind but cannot see.

P2175 I love my shit

I love my shit, you'd surely love it,

Chicks queue up for what I got.

Plus my piss as shots for many miss, 

They also ferment my shit in a pot.

I'm the kind of king who has nothing, 

Wallowing in his piss and shit.

But I see the pot half full, that's cool,

I mean that's potential for something in it.

Who knows what else can go wrong, 

I have a stiff turd coming out.

Sometimes I get reciprocal hiccups,

Makes me shit from my spout.

Fuck this globe, I dance in a strobe, 

The lighting makes me horny.

Then I fuck my own ass, with shit and gas,

It doesn't ever cost a penny.

P2174

P2173 He spits when he talks

He spits when he talks, calls all the shots, 

He's a despicable mean man.

I laugh on his face, a surface, 

Which I've suffered all I can.

But what can you do, this side of the world, 

Has an oversupply of overreaching assholes. 

These are the leaders, these are not heeders, 

To sermons of peace or of placid souls.

On the contrary, they fight in a fury,

No hurdle is a problem for them.

They kill or maim, at point zero or aim, 

Always a fucking zero sum game.

He says his shit is pink, that it doesn't stink,

Even comes in various scented shapes. 

He said he'd be the second coming, 

Of Jiminy without any brakes.

I wipe his spit, I trash his shit, 

No point in raising any points. 

He's got a temper bad, when he gets mad,

He'll crush all my brittle joints.

P2172 Acidity

A hand from my spout, made me shout,

It spilled acid on my face.

This was strange, I gagged in pain,

My body has parts I cannot trace.

A hand in my ass, also it has,

A habit of spilling my shit.

Say on a chair, minding my affair,

Suddenly on smelly turds I sit.

I don't know, limitless my sorrow,

And extraordinary the events here.

Loose in the head, or I'm going to be dead,

Certainly not accidents mere.

I'll wipe my face, with a clean surface, 

Too old for pranks at this age.

There seems to be unlimited acid,

Inside me to waste as spillage.

My piss burns the ground, a cavity round,

Like the acid spit in the movie Aliens. 

To save myself all I have to do,

Is spray piss on the opponents in defense.

Yeah Yeah Yeah when in a fray,

I can vomit acid at wanton will.

That's the way I confess, more or less,

If I don’t take my prescribed pill.

P2171

P2170 I clean my nose

I clean my nose with my tongue of course, 

But I have a little head inside it.

It has a tongue that's long and well hung,

It tickles me into a manic fit.

I know what people think, 

From a distance it looks like a fork,

But I'm not a snake, and not a fake, 

But I do insert inside my asshole a cork.

It's a special gift from god,

It came directly from his asshole. 

He bequeathed it to me,

Not finding another deserving soul.

I know I'm weird, but not too much,

Just a cosmetic touch gone wrong. 

God told me he was taking a shit,

While designing my shlong. 

With a cork in my ass, trapped gas,

I do burp my farts out a lot.

My little guy in the tongue likes them,

Loves to eat my shit from a pot.

My balls are hairy, my dick's sorta scary,

It's like two potatoes with a stalk.

My life is spent, don't know where it went,

Now my sick dick wants to talk.

Who knows where I'll go? fuck which ho?

Nothing is going according to plan.

I stay to myself, my books on a shelf,

I'll wait for the aliens to do what they can.

P2169 If you hit your eye

If you hit your eye, with your index you try,

Poke and prod like Newton did.

You'll see it makes you sleepy,

And hides what wasn't previously hid.

It's also painful and lame, but all the same,

I do it all the lame ass time.

Who doesn't want to do what Newton did,

Even if it's a self inflicted crime.

But he used something sharp like a toothpick, 

Just imagine the size of his balls,

And no woman saw his dick,

Don't think it was worth at all.

His clockwork world is missing its spring,

It needs a lot of fuzzy probabilities. 

Like for example, no one loves me,

Not a single pair of titties.

I'm sure his shit smelled better, 

Mine is really not very sociable. 

Women don't like me if I don't flush,

Even over toilet seat they give hell.

P2168 Mouth like an asshole

With a mouth like an asshole, my diction is foul,

But that shit's alright,  I wink. 

When you're a penguin in suit and tie, it's the sky,

Is all you ever have to think.

It's really not right, to start a fight, 

When what's the point already. 

We the assholes have putrid souls, 

That's good till eternity. 

I just shit from my mouth,  a turd,

And quickly concealed it under my files.

The smell is bad, a problem so sad,

That I sit near a window near the roof tiles.

And when I get a chance I throw it out,

The tiles are heavy with poop.

If the roof collapses, it will on,

A restaurant for gourmet soup.

P2167

P2166

P2165

P2164

P2163 Maybe this is another nightmare

I've lost my brain, and in quite some pain,

But I need a chilled glass of drink.

Maybe if I can try, before I'm done and dry,

I can start the process to think.

Teeth exposed doesn't mean a smile,

As I'm sure you can tell.

I'm just minutes away from rotting, 

The rest is already in hell.

Well occasionally I think I'm dead,

Maybe this is another nightmare. 

I'll wake up in a pool of piss,

With a colorless face to stare.

The thing is when inside a dream,

There's no off switch, a pity.

I will at least die in a minute, 

And then be back in reality. 

P2162

P2161 What is life?

What is life? Is it a story of strife,

When you're smoking a joint at every point?

Or is it some fantasy, or practiced apathy,

Or dreams from reality disjoint?

I think, when I shouldn't really, 

There's no premium to my thoughts. 

Honestly honesty has dragged me down,

The entrepreneur inside rots.

Convoluted that cheat is a feat,

While simple and straight gets hate.

Disdain and apathy, wanton violence and cruelty,

Was, I guess part of my sordid fate.

People are all superficial creeps, 

They like their own kind.

Even when they sense any better, 

They always side with the rind.

I don't know about knowledge, 

It's expanded ignorance in fact. 

More you know, less you know you know,

There's no shortcut or tact.

P2160

P2159 My shit and piss

My shit and piss were always a hit,

Now my toxic bubble burps are.

I may be the Times man of the year,

For smell worse so far.

Nibbled and sluiced my asshole bruised, 

By worms ungodly as hell.

A pious soul with a suffering hole,

My revenge is my smell.

The gods are good, they give food,

Like that they say in old books. 

But black my piss, alkapanuria my miss,

Coca Cola if you drink by the looks.

And my shit white, bilirubin very slight,

That's the pigment to turn it yellow. 

But I'm sick to the core, emotionally sore,

A sad and mad, black and white fellow.

But it's the smell that really kills, 

It makes me proud and prim.

As I pose for the camera and smile,

My anal rim is burning grim.

P2158

P2157

P2156 I put my snot in a pot

I put my snot in a pot,

A thought that one day came in a dream.

God pulled a rod from his nose,

It had a gooey sticky cream. 

He told me in a thundering voice, 

Go sell snot you piece of shit. 

Then I woke up startled, 

And began to realize it.

This is my first bottle and by hell,

It'll be full by next Monday. 

To the gods I swear, touching my ass bare,

I'll convince the bidders that day.

Then that way, day by one slow day,

I'll get stinking rich, hearty and hale.

Again touching my dick, I say I'll stick, 

Every snot in the pot for sale,

P2155 Her legs, my head

Her legs, my head, went to bed,

Then something happened to us.

We merged into a dystopian atrophy, 

But we're not making a fuss.

What can we do, maybe a new flu,

There's an experiment like this.

A married couple went to bed,

Found his shit floating in her piss.

Plus I like looking at legs,

And sure she doesn't mind.

Her mind is gone with the brain,

Compromise of a convenient kind. 

Now I don't know what the future holds,

It ain't looking very bright. 

Not only can I not go to my office,

I can't even face light. 

What if my wife finds out?

She's gonna boil my dick.

But given that I'm a stump on legs,

She might consider me sick. 

Maybe I'm dead or it's all in my head,

Maybe someone did a spell.

Well whatever it is, sure in a piss,

What a way to walk to hell.

P2154 On my face and tongue

On my face and tongue, this grub shits his dung,

And boy! I get so so mad.

Matter of fact, to be exact,

Reason my breath smells really bad.

But I eat them, I know it's lame,

When you can eat chicken. 

But I'm dirt poor, live in a sewer, 

This is what I get for cents ten.

Plus who am I going to kiss, no miss,

In the whole fucking drain.

Penetration fantasies rivet my thoughts, 

Masturbation releases the pain.

A monk, or something,  came by,

Talking about an invisible being. 

I didn't see the logic, I'm kind of thick,

I told him in the sewer there was no king.

No king, yes, just us, with nothing, 

Over-crowding the little space.

It's hard to believe in shit like that,

With shit right on your face.

P2153 I drink till I'm numb

I drink till I'm numb, then puke with my thumb,

I was never very dumb you know.

Although my dick is small, but my pride really tall,

I date a high-heeled hunchback ho.

She lets me fuck her ass, my brass,

I show by not doing so.

Instead we talk about things, 

Until she gets up to go.

My life isn't what I thought it would be,

I'm sitting in a corner cornered. 

My asshole itches bad and I'm sad,

But don't know how to get hard.

My dick soft, once aloft,

My dreams wallow in excrement. 

Maybe it's the rum, I do love my mum,

She never gets her due complement.

P2152 Ohh! My Daisy!

Ohh! My Daisy! You drive me crazy!

I can't make up my mind.

All three lips I want to kiss,

My noses put me in a bind.

My drool will pool, I the innocent fool,

Will die without fornication.

The gods are cross, I piss on moss,

Life is unmanly masturbation. 

I touch my asshole when I think of you,

It makes the gods sing with joy.

When my finger probes deeper,

They cheer with tears of coy.

Oy the moment when we'll kiss,

Will be remembered forever. 

My dick is thick, but head like a brick,

I can never pass for clever. 

But by holy shit! I call for it!

By holier piss! Will you marry me miss?

I have no ring, except on my asshole, 

It's yours till I drink god's piss.

P2151 Spout through your snout

When in doubt, spout through your snout,

There's nothing more relaxing for your head.

Gone are the nights, when the frights, 

Resolved through pissing in my bed.

I don't think, it's just the stink,

That makes people avoid me.

Plenty I know, including so and so,

Have shit smeared on face daily.

How they do it, well it's just shit,

You put your face in a crack!

Then they lick the hole, that's their role,

I want to stretch them on a rack. 

Humans in a ditch, dirty fucking bitch,

That's what they call nature now.

I think that's crazy, their vision hazy, 

Lazy assholes that should die somehow.

P2150 I tap my dick

I tap my dick, they think I'm sick,

They just have no fucking clue.

I'm slowly dying, my jizz has been drying, 

Just in the loo, I checked my poo.

Then I shake my dick, come cum thick,

But just drips drops few like glue.

The erection a noodle, the gods doodle, 

Silly cloud impressions in the blue.

Well fuck them all, shit acting tall,

I have no tolerance for such gods.

If you can't see reality, I say with sincerity 

You should be poked with anal rods. 

Well whatever, who cares, 

I'm royally fucked already. 

My jackfruit balls, what falls,

Is cum that I can't even see.

I don't know, I'll ask my ho,

She talks to semi-dead schlongs, 

If she can't make a headway, 

She uses red hot tongs.

P2149

P2148

P2147

P2146

P2145

P2144

P2143 Feel my wrath

Feel my wrath, do the math,

You are fucked beyond respect. 

I can, by decree, fuck your ass,

I belong to a famous holy sect.

So holy, that by fucking golly, 

You'll forget you had an ass.

Shit will have to be regurgitated,

Sorry no sir, can't pass no gas.

By the oldest scriptures to date,

I swear on a million gods, 

You will die in hell after you die,

Unless you insert metal anal rods.

You'll repeat arbitrary things after me,

Until you dry your spit.

We'll make you misappraise reality, 

You'll forfeit your right to shit.

You'll join the mass hysterical groups, 

And chant yourself into a trance.

We'll say obligatory sweet nothings, 

When you go mad and dance.

Of course we'll shit on you when you're dead,

We never skimp on passage rites. 

We'll plant a weed of unimportant sorts,

And taking your name fly kites.

P2142 On a handstand

I often piss, on a handstand like this,

This got me popular with chicks. 

They flock in large numbers, 

Ignoring very large dicks.

Pussy right and left, my chin cleft,

They say is a beauty spot.

When I shit in the squatting posture, 

They claim I'm entirely hot.

Maybe it's because I'm a guru,

Who freely fucks around. 

My bullshit has no end to it, no shit,

I like a breast perfectly round.

The easiest trick, your finger you stick, 

Nonchalantly into an unsuspecting's asshole.

Then you fist your arm upwards, 

Until you reach her eternal soul.

The yoga gods have taught,

How to lie your way into a hole.

I've seen success in a million ways,

I'm just a big holy asshole.

P2141 I stand tall on my balls

I stand tall on my balls,

Dear miss can't you hear me piss?

I assure you the largest turd,

From my asshole are as big as this.

My gas is foul, I have a dirty soul,

Miss can I kiss your hand?

Forever we'll live in a Mumbai slum,

Because I have no money or land.

I also have no prospect of a job,

In fact I have indeed no legs.

All I ever do is shit and piss,

Get drunk from leftover kegs.

But be my miss, I want to piss,

On a creature I want to mate. 

The gods unruly, have destined truly,

For you a most miserable fate.

P2140 Look I drool like a fool

Look I drool like a fool, 

My face isn't at all any good.

But I'm dirt poor, no I'm sure,

For days I've haven't had any food.

The rich are getting richer they say,

And I've forgotten how to do numbers. 

I can't even beg because I drool so much,

I get beaten with thick iron bars.

I'm probably going to die soon, 

No one for me in this cold cruel world.

My family took everything I had,

And outside I was forever hurled. 

I've stayed outside, I've nothing to hide, 

My story isn't unique I know.

In telling it, I represent a class,

Of unfortunate, old, disabled and slow.

We are at the fringe, creaking at the hinge, 

We are almost ready to die.

But no matter what we wish, or who our god,

Suffering is what overwhelms our sky.

P2139 A damsel in distress

A damsel in distress, not wearing a dress,

Just a bikini as is usually the case.

My skin is clear, in my scream is fear,

I hope to attract a chivalrous face.

But so far no one, a very hot sun,

My legs tired from the unusual sprint.

The screaming left me hoarse, I have to force,

Words that need no careful stint.

This plan was bad, with anger quite mad,

I'll die unmarried and a bitch.

I'll grow a chin long, hair always wrong, 

And look haggard like a witch.

Why so few good men, or so many so poor,

I'd rather starve than be betrothed to a mendicant.

Where are my princess's dreams now?

Where the castle with a meadow slightly slant?

I'll shit in a saucepan, marry an ordinary man,

Probably as dumb as dirt.

If only I could seduce a bald rich jew,

I'll be at least wearing a fancy skirt.

But I don't know, I'll probably be a ho,

The income is better in the brothel usually. 

I'll keep my eyes open, grab the first nitwit when,

He can't say no to end my concocted misery.

P2138 I look for new land

I look for new land, find only sand,

My feet unhappy without socks.

Long time ago, when I ate avocados,

With my hands I could crush mighty rocks.

Now a miserable whiny wimp, a desert pimp,

I help travelers find hookers for free.

In the cave I live, I only have a sieve, 

With which I can make my morning tea.

I'm not bright, I squint in light, 

Perhaps the shimmering is a mirage. 

I wouldn't really know, it could be a ho,

A pricey pretty girl behind a barrage. 

Well maybe this world isn't real,

Or maybe I'm finally dead. 

I feel a gnawing pain, a shift in gain,

This sun has got inside my head.

P2137 A tooth in pain

A tooth in pain, can fuck your brain, 

And get your life to stop.

Your depression will disappear, 

Your new destination become a flop.

It's been going on for a day,

And I'm almost in fucking tears.

The ibuprofen lasts only for an hour, 

And then the pain back in gears.

A curse of banshee is on me,

I must have shit on her face.

Must have happened in an erstwhile life, 

This life I've always shit on a ceramic surface. 

One way or another age catches up,

My tooth is letting me know. 

All the running around I did,

Still a dental and mental hobo.

Fuck my tooth and fuck my ass.

Let a tooth fairy come from serendipity, 

Or I could just suffer the toothache, 

Until my bed is wet and shitty.

My thoughts clouded, my bed already wet,

It was the sweet treat.

I swear on my asshole, I swear, 

I'll cut down on the sugary shit.

P2136 I'm rolling on a ball

I'm rolling on a ball, it's no exercise at all,

That's what you might think. 

Try to put on some weight, just standing straight, 

Will take you near death's brink.

I'm trying to get back to shape,

But all I do is get my back scratched.

Then I take a hot steamy bath,

And get more plans hatched. 

I've noticed I look evil,

My asshole is a gaping hole.

I suspect there's more than fat wrong here,

I may be a narcissistic asshole. 

But no matter I shall continue, 

To piss on humanity as before. 

The misanthrope in me is still hungry,

I've to keep feeding it more.

P2135 Obligatory circles

Too many people and too many words,

I feel sick to my pit.

I might throw my undigested, 

Or could very well shit.

The concentric layers are too crowded, 

I can smell their underarms from here.

What's hidden, isn't always interesting, 

Especially if it's everywhere. 

My life is making the obligatory circles,

Like when you flush your shit.

In this case I am it, that panics and flits,

Before it disappears in it.

Hustle and grit, mind full of shit,

It's getting dark here now.

But I'm an incompetent asshole, 

Needed to be dead somehow.

Down the pipe I summarily go, 

Round and round compulsively spun.

I realize now the meaning of existence, 

The power in an ordinary flush cistern. 

But I'm full of shit, this is where I fit,

I don't deserve anything but this.

I've lived too long, almost fifty strong, 

Net by weight a lot of shit and piss.

P2134 I'm Tarzan the ape man

I'm Tarzan the ape man,

And I'm selling my shit today.

Someone needed to swap his poop,

To become stronger and gay.

So I said sure thing, 

And since then I've been at it.

I can tell you from my mouth, 

It's really profitable this shit.

Plus you can adulterate at whim,

No one sniffs carefully. 

I use all kinds of shit,

When diarrhea makes me super silly.

Well Jane is fucking an ape,

She's into animals a lot.

I've started fucking hyena cunts,

I find them screaming hot.

My balls are worm infested, 

They make me scratch the sac red.

Jane likes to fondle my balls,

Then she gives me head.

She's got a great tongue the girl, 

She cleans my asshole too.

Then we kiss under the banana tree,

We make love that's entirely untrue. 

P2133 I slap my ass

I slap my ass, when I pass my gas,

So that people can cover their nose.

It's like a meteor minus the terror,

When I fart I always pose.

I'm photogenic I always believed, 

The naysayers get everything wrong, 

My balls are like nuts, dick like a noodle,

But my confidence is very strong. 

I can always beat you at whatever it is,

Because you're by definition weak.

I spray piss and on your face poot,

I carry all the glory with streak.

I have a way with words,

Or I'll take a shit when wondering. 

I'm not shy to vomit on your clothes, 

Or to do some elaborate pissing. 

I'm great, I've always said,

There can be no two say. 

I curse you to the lowest level of hell,

For onions if you make me pay.

P2132 I don't wear pants

I don't wear pants, I piss on my plants, 

That way they stay respectfully gay.

You don't want to know what I grow, 

From my asshole when I pray.

My garden is green, I keep it clean, 

The weeds I smoke them all.

The fungus I get high on,

The mold I sell as bread, in a stall.

I get by, from the fish I don't fry,

That usually I'd rather not eat.

These would be the ones in my pond, 

That have grown fat eating my vomit.

Piss and shit, my grass is hit,

Ladies want to lie naked on my grass.

When they do that, I start a chat,

And gape at the crack in their ass.

Their asshole so small, my turds won't fall,

If they found a way inside. 

It's only when I ask questions like that,

They run away and hide.

P2131 My mouth was full

My mouth was full, a raving fool,

Pissed hot piss inside. 

He's part of my tongue, my future rung,

Now all part of this sordid ride.

Where will I go, he's violent so,

Shows finger to people passing by,

I might cut his stalk, but how will I talk,

I'll crumble into a heap and cry.

On my hand and feet, I'll pray to it,

Please don't shit on my life.

Go away from where you came, 

Or I'll cut you with a sharpened knife.

What a gruesome day, I say with dismay, 

Maybe it's all gas and it will pass.

But if it's true, if he is I think is who,

I'm unlikely to find greener grass.