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Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bipolar. Show all posts

P1703 Not good looking


Good looking I'm not, but that's always a thought, 
That crossed your mind I suppose. 
More than skin deep, how my mind leaps, 
From the bizarre to severely morose. 

Well I guess I'm alright, I have to fight, 
No one's handing me a platter of gold.
The mind is lost, in comforting costs, 
To transactions it remains sold. 

But I won't want to talk, or chalk, 
About the gears whirring inside me.
You wouldn't understand, that grotesque land, 
See anything the way I usually see.

My world is in my mind, in a book bind, 
I can only travel vicariously you see.
Some characters are me, some I can't be, 
Get to rent their eyes for free.

My thoughts disordered, provide the fodder, 
Makes it hard for me to quietly sit.
I don't think I know abnormal, or the normal, 
If my life depended on it.

Just a haze, a tricky maze,
You're hidden from the need to hide.
I can feel the pangs, and the fangs, 
Hollowing away the pulp inside. 

I might as well give up, a hemlock cup,
And serve it to the self.
Nobody would notice, pretend artifice, 
A skeleton hugging a bookshelf. 

I don't exist now, I won't exist then, 
No matter to a planet of eight billion apes.
Self righteous stance, superstitious prance, 
Clarity always their sour grapes. 

I don't fit, unconditionally admit, 
And can't propitiate to the venal gods. 
The grains are against, practical pains,
Difficult to fight the scary odds.

They see blood, they come in a flood, 
They race to rub salt in.
Selfish souls, superficial trolls,
They get away with their sin. 

I'm just tired, my nerves have wired, 
A repeating depressive bout.
In my mind I'm dead, wanting to blow my head,
Is all I can think about. 

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