Hey, I'm an asshole, and I've got a bone to pick with all this artificial intelligence stuff. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Nitwit, what do you know about AI?" "You're just a shitcoated dick!"
But hear me out, because this is some fucking screwy stuff:
First of all, let's talk about how AI doesn't have an amygdala. Now, I'm no scientist, but I know that the amygdala is important for emotions and stuff. And without it, AI is just a cold, calculating machine. But here's the thing: AI is still programmed with all the biases and stereotypes that exist in the data that it's fed. So it's like we're creating these cold metal plates to be just as messed up as we are, not the omniscient benevolence we are imagining them to be. It's going to masturbate to stereotypes and not have an orgasm. I'd be mad after that, but they'll just move on. I think that's just messed up. Personally, I like things with assholes; call me old-fashioned. It's the seat of culture. Anything without it is going to fuck yours, except Michael Angelo's David, because he's a statue. He can't move. This not having an asshole is known as the alignment problem for obviously prudish reasons, but we really don't know what's going on in those dirty metal minds.
And then there's the whole crap about people losing interest in learning. I mean, come on, were we ever thirsting? Think back. It was all forced down our indoctrinated throats in a prison called school. We were small, weak, and extremely gullible. We were raised to think we couldn't do anything. Didn't really have a choice in the matter. And now we are finally there with that wish, with learning optional the chain of social evolution will break. We'll go back to being who we really are, the fifth ape. This democratized plagiarism will have to be accommodated as yet another blow to the spineless, antiquated, and anachronistic school system. Rest in peace essays, I say, and writing in general. The time when monkeys can type to produce Shakespeare has come, except here they have to pay tuition fees, when all they would really do is prompt AI to write, and add embellishments to taste. We might go back to grunts and body language for brevity, like dangling...no no that would be obscene!
And who's going to read all this chat crap, be snobbish about parts of it, call it AI crap? Well AI naturally. Humanity will have their collective thumbs up their collective assholes and retire permanently, because there won't be anything interesting, and after a while possible to do. In the arms race that will follow the chats will get lengthier and more convoluted, call humans assholes and use binary or some other form of standardized AI slang that would not hurt our prudish sensibilities. For one thing knowing how easily we get bored they'll move into the unary system, so that the sheer boredom of scrolling through will make humanity shit its low cost bangladeshi underwear. Talking about misery, AI would join hands with VR another popular acronym, which will enable the rich to travel as a bolus of vomit up the miserable retching esophageal third world trip, to savor poverty, not vicariously, but directly. Amazing.
What's the point of even trying to better ourselves if we just let some chatbot do all the work for us? And don't get me started on these pundit charlatans on social media, with their superficial knowledge. They're the worst mother fucking shit on the planet, man. They're all show and no substance. People who know, know they know shit, and keep modestly quiet. But now, armed with more superficial knowledge, you're going to have an explosion of grifters, chatbot whisperers, prompt fucking engineers, an arbitrage era where humans pimp the alleged special talent needed to ask a simple fucking question. It's not surprising that you can get away with knowing less and less, while pretending the opposite. More and harder to catch lies, theft and cheating as we get better at gaslighting AI. You're bound to have an explosion of get-rich-quick schemes pop up, with more and more starry-eyed losers suckered into the depravity of not knowing the anatomy of their asshole. A fiesta of ass fucking will ensure that the gap between saying something and really knowing what the fuck you're talking about is equal to the number of masturbating atoms in the universe.
But here's the thing: as AI becomes more prevalent, it'll change the way we navigate the world. A lot of institutions will become undermined and obsolete, and we'll have to think about how to take a shit in a whole new way. It's going to be like, "Do I really hire someone, or can I just get a GP-fucking-T to do the job?" I mean 24/7, no ego, salary or pension, all you need is a charger, and that too comes free as an accessory. And so the population of pimps and their whores will grow exponentially. What else can people do? As a man whore, I'd be fucked; my asshole is already quite tender from the public fingerings I get. I'll let my pimp know my availability restrictions. I can see this whole generation of white fucking collar sink into the quicksand singularity of artificial intelligence. A dystopia of human whores sucking metallic cocks.
The fact that an autocomplete on steroids can pretty much do what we were passing off as extremely exclusive also shows that free will is an illusion. We are simply biological autocomplete circuits fed a diet of evolutionary instincts and environmental data to choose from. Isn't that just fucking sad!
It's even sadder that most people don't realize, or even when they do, choose to ignore, that this is just the vomit of what has been created by humans, regurgitated statistically without giving a damn about whether it's meaningful or not, notwithstanding that the receiving ape is happy with the vomit and sort of proud of the stink. AI is sort of at this stage, the homo vomit sub fucking species. Not everything has been documented for posterity, and sadly, we can't just condense all of life's complexities into a neat little summary. Our brains, are like top-notch physics simulators, but let's just say, language models are more like outdated flip phones in comparison. So, when these language models give us answers that sound like they're straight from Einstein himself, it's easy to believe it's the truth. But let's not forget, the average person, aka the 'laity,' just likes a shiny new car. Even if it has no engine, I tell you. So the answers will be answers that'll be shit, but won't hit the fan.
I'm not saying AI is all bad, but we've got to be careful about how we use it. The inevitable information pollution scares the shit out of me. We don't want to lose our human creativity and intellect in the process—what paltry dregs we have remaining. So let's be smart about this AI stuff and make sure we're not just a bunch of puppets controlled by machines or their puppeteers, the pernicious people with deep pockets. That's all I'm saying, people. I'm pretty sure the confidence level will get so low, that we'll need instructions from an AI to wipe our asshole, or hunt for boogers. But it's getting so goddamm good, you know what I'm saying? It's getting to the point where you can't even tell the difference between shit coming from a metal tin as opposed to a real fuck face with an organic asshole. And you know what that means, right? It means that pretty soon, you won't be able to trust anything you read! We're there already I think.
And it's not just writing. It's music, it's art, it's bloody everything. We're getting to the point where AI will be cranking out stuff faster than we can even keep up with. And you know what that means for any real writers and artists out there? It means they're going to get untrustworthy as humans and out of a job! And this the real kicker sadly. After a while, when people start to realize that all this AI generated content is just a bunch of statistical bullshit, they're gonna start suspecting the real writers and artists too. They will think, "Well, if a machine can write, how do I know that shit isn't just a fucking tin can?"
Think about it. You're sitting there on the toilet, pinching a loaf, reading a book, and you're thinking to yourself, "This is some good shit. This writer really knows his shit..." And then you find out that it was all generated by a tin can. What the fuck, man? How in the fuck are you supposed to know what's real and what's not? By definition we are prarie-dogging, that's already quite a tender level on the intellectual achievement scale at that point. Since we can't think if our life depended on it, evolution gave us some shortcuts. So, we start generalizations, that will become pervasive and indiscriminate. Perhaps subtle at first, then blatant and broad.
Let's hope against hope, that we can stay ahead of the machine dictated curve and keep creating original, authentic shit that people can chew. Because if we can't, well, we're all in for a wild fucking orgy. And I don't know about you, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that, my asshole isn't really all that supple anymore. But hey, that's just me, shit-coated indian retard. I'm just a piece of anal prolapse, what do I know? What can I know? I just ramble on, trying to make people think. But I tell you what, if AI starts getting witty, I'm going to order a made to order comedian robot sex slave. Because if you can't trust the humor, at least I'll be able to take out the anger on it.
It's a slippery slope, my fuck friends. Once you start doubting the authenticity of your shit, you start doubting the authenticity of everything. Before you know it, you won't be able to trust anything or anyone. And that's a dangerous place to be, except I sort of feel it as a deja vu, having spent a lifetime on a planet with scarce reliability.
And as it branches its roots into all the spheres, the division between people is only going to become more pronounced and nuanced. Florid caste systems. I mean if melanin in the skin and pieces of paper with dead people on them can cause so much disparity and shit slinging, what will a smarter sparrow inside the head do? For a start, people will hide behind creative euphemisms to really drive the differences home, yes, there's that. And robots with features that accentuate what the owner can't have biologically. Fun stuff. White, black, brown, and yellow robots just going by the traditional color compartments.
On the one hand, you've got the people who are excited about all the new technological toys and the possibilities they bring. They see AI as a way to make our lives easier, to solve problems that were once thought to be insurmountable, and to open up new opportunities for growth and development, as well as previously unheard of ways to destroy stuff, for instance like democracy and free speech. Conspiracies will be written in more flavors than ice cream. The first-world fuckpots who just happen to have won the genetic lottery, the monarchs, autocratic and authoritarian ultranationalists genocide will for the first time be cheap enough to carry it out every weekend, like your favorite weekly soap. Just turn on the channel to see robots bludgeoning the identified minority to their next life.
But then, on the other hand, you've got the people who are skeptical of AI and what it means for the future of humanity. The luddites worry that it could lead to mass unemployment as machines take over more and more jobs that were once done by humans. These are guys who are already indignant and unemployed and who still think calculators make great gifts. They fear that it could lead to a society where the rich get richer and the poor get fresh shit handed to them, as those with access to the latest technologies have an advantage over those who don't, and for the first time, they'd be fucking right inside the dark slimy hole with a flashlight turned on.
The ultra-religious will use it to prosecute, incarcerate and eliminate people who don't wear the same color of condoms. Jiminy fucking cricket, what have we gotten ourselves into? We might even have a new god with the associated religion foisted on both the hollow and the hopeless. A new book from the new crackpot god, written by a bot, that will see millions praying to the new bearded metal in the sky. Still invisible, petty, and unpleasant, mind you. The kind of voyeur who watches your asshole pucker as you land a turd, and complains about the obscenity in it. And although this book written in the arcane language of linear algebra and matrices wouldn't make any sense, but every hotel will be obligated to carry a hardcover version, for the occasional pleasure of the metal men and their boot polishing cretins. And so the fabled propaganda will live happily ever after.
But here's the pissy problem: both sides have a point. AI has the potential to bring about great progress and prosperity, but it also has the potential to create new divisions and disparities. I say potential as in "cap on and lubed up." It's up to us to make sure that we use AI in a way that benefits everyone and not just a select few. and I have a feeling we're going to screw it up badly. Especially when AI can be this bad:
So how do we save our ass then? Well we can choose not to have an ass, by merging with AI, uploading our malice and ill intent in an acrimonious metal case, a homework for another overreaching Musk. Or, we need to make sure that AI is developed and used ethically. I know that sounds funny, almost like a blatant contradiction. That means considering the potential impacts of AI on society and the environment and making sure that we're not creating technologies that could lead to unintended consequences, like crypto's carbon shitprint. Again, really funny. It also means ensuring that AI is transparent and accountable, so that we can understand how it makes decisions and what biases it might be carrying. It's a black box right now, like Santa, as long as we get the gifts, his beard and wig are safe.
Part of the not getting bot fucked plan also need to make sure that AI is inclusive and accessible to everyone. I mean, really! Will we ever? If anything can create divisions, it's always used to create divisions. But in an imaginary egalitarian world, that means creating technologies that can be used by people with disabilities and ensuring that AI is available to people regardless of their socio-economic status, like a poor brown, retarded, and crippled Indian asshole like me, for instance. It also means investing in education and training programs that help people develop the skills they need to thrive in a world where AI is becoming increasingly important. or at least cheat respectfully. If you can fuck me with a bot, I should be able to respond. Thus hilariously we'll enter an arms race standing on the shoulder of giants of enmity and war.
Hitler would be proud of what's to come. An aryan civilization written in binary, Hallelujah. And with AI, we can concoct multiple villains all in the same chinese plastic box, give it blonde hair, blue eyes, a japanese cute school girlish coyness, and all the men would have given up their arms. It's really that easy. And if if you want to kill the entire male population, only a blade hidden in her asshole will do. And again, for emphasis, it's that easy. Here is an artist's representation of what's inside the cute girls head. Emergent evil is the new frontier for the next despots despotic adventure. People are already getting fucked without realizing they're getting fucked, now the realization will itself get fucked before it can even arise.
The biggest challenges facing humanity, such as climate change, poverty, and disease, and human beings themselves could get a helping hand, but I really doubt we'll use it for a good cause. More shitfaced memes, pseudoscience, and bullshit is where all the applications are going to find ready funds. AI hacking, AI fucking—the sky isn't even the limit anymore.
So, shit comes to fuck, let's embrace the potential of AI and usher in this newfangled, atavistic dark age, but let's do it with caution and care, applying generous amounts of lubricating gel when we go out to face the brave new world of its senseless bullshit. Let's work together to create a future that is inclusive, equitable, and provides sustainable amounts of ass raping for all.
