P2309 Given me this rod

Almighty god has given me this rod,

To help mankind save, you better behave. 

I know how you think, but before you can blink,

Misfortune will befall the unbeliever's cave.

You must repeat, on my dirty feet,

An offering of gold and plenty everything. 

If not you know what to expect,

Bees will your privates sting.

And not only that, mark that cat,

That crosses your path on your walk.

If you're not donating generously, 

It will give you a remedial talk.

It'll tell about the layers of hell,

The preparation to get to it.

In various ways it will imply,

You're a stingy piece of shit.

So start today, cash the holiest way,

To walk the path to hindu heaven. 

I also sell replica rods, and franchise plans,

Information on that is a thousand seven.

Mass psychosis is gold, you must be told,

People are prepared to believe anything. 

Barnum statements come handy,

Train yourself on cold reading. 

Plant paid informers who spy,

And invest on a ear in a hidden recess. 

Use techniques that crooks use,

And you have a flowering business. 

Prey on women and old, they're easily sold,

Steep their tea in deep dogma,

Gullible as clay, like flies to light, 

They are attracted to superstition. 

Whatever you do, don't get attached to,

Logic of any sort or form.

Bullshit is the language of the vague,

Always respect the religious norm.

Hire hecklers to disrupt piercing questions, 

Speak less, in a convoluted hypnotic monotone. 

Refer to yourself as a quantum ball, 

Eat people's flesh to their dry bone.

Use social media, the fools are all online,

Books written about nothing make gold.

Add pseudoscience and astrology for spice,

The young whores will do what they're told.

More the lies, holier the disguise, 

Soon your face will be on currency note.

Political power is part of how the crowds cower,

With this make sure you get the elected vote.

Everyone in the world is fucking each other, 

It's really the only worthwhile thing to do.

Mixing it with a little abracadabra, 

Helps to finance the family zoo.

P2308 Oh my dear

Oh my dear, don't have any fear,

I know I have a bony face. 

That's because I've been dead for a while, 

Desire forced a resurface. 

I want to have a romantic date, 

With candlelight lit.

We can eat fresh carcass brain, 

Marinated in its shit. 

We could visit the cauldrons of hell,

Where they boil the sinners alive.

I can get us a front row ticket,

But you'll be fucked by five.

We can say hello to god, 

And help him in his chores. 

He has a rebellion on his hand,

Hasn't paid his whores.

Plumbers are on strike too,

Heaven is full of shit. 

Every cloud laden with poop,

Rumors have god's ass in it.

Fairies are a ruin, in sin,

Caught checking granny shit porn.

Their wings were clipped, legs flipped, 

Their heads severed and torn. 

The devil reigns over part of heaven, 

God sucks his dick.

There's unrest that's unresolved, 

Everything seems to be a trick.

But roses are red, dead bleeding head,

I want to have a sweet date. 

Heaven or hell, time can't tell, 

A date is never too late.

P2307 I have a house on my head

I have a house on my head, that said, 

I don't know what's wrong with me.

The sun is setting behind the hills, 

I think I really need to pee.

Yes that's right, rocks do piss, 

And you humans drink them all the time.

Imagine how big an asshole you have to be,

To be that daft and asinine. 

But you guys are fucking the planet, 

Building shit where they don't belong. 

Polluting the pristine with polythene, 

Everywhere hairy human schlong. 

I lose my temper, yes you billionaire,

Are going to lose that house. 

I hate the spineless effeminate types, 

That hide in their underage whore's blouse. 

When the earth rocks, hens and cocks, 

Are the first to pick up their fuck and run.

As soon as I'm done pissing, 

I'm planning to have some fun.

P2306 Intersect my eyes

I give looking under the glasses a new meaning, 

By putting them on the head.

That way you have to intersect my eyes,

And then sorry, you're dead.

Shit you must, or your shit hole rust,

Things I teach in trance.

You may find yourself babbling tongues,

Or performing a ritual tribal dance.

Under the moon, you may swear and swoon,

And think you are a bat.

Bite your significant other, 

Especially if they're a little fat.

Any ambition can be brought to the table,

Irresistible fuckwad or sputum of spit.

It isn't likely I'll ever have a solution, 

But sure as hell pretend as shit.

If you blow smoke up my ass,

I'll teach you a remedial trick. 

Get a mouthful of spit, 

And suck everyone's dick.

Shit, vomit, piss, and fuck, or you suck,

Eating is often not your choice. 

Experience in democratized labor, 

Renders you additionally no voice.

That's it, at their feet, no other shit,

Works as good as that.

Be the ingratiating shoe sole, lick their asshole, 

Till you wear their color of hat.

Customarily treat as shit, those at you feet,

And never the ladder look down. 

Once you climb a rung, that help can be hung,

To the poor you must only frown.

Or be a sex slave,  always shave,

Your lice infested pubic hair.

Let them have your holes,

Cavorting in the depraved share.

And likeable liars are always hired, 

Just make sure you kiss ass.

Traditionally the way to hypnotize, 

Is to fart nitrous oxide gas.

P2305

P2304 Fuck I died

Oh shit fuck, my asshole sucks, 

I'm leaking diarrhea again. 

The crazy cracking was nerve racking, 

I am in incredible pain.

Fuck I died, my shit being fried, 

I'll become a fucking omelet. 

Fuck the french for giving that name,

How gluttonous can humans get?

I wanted to be a whore, clients score,

Gape my ass as a package deal.

Imagine the thrill of sucking a cock,

A proud cock on a whoring treadmill. 

But now I'm cooked, hell is booked, 

Ass rape by a gang of dicks. 

Not bad really come to think of it,

I've experience with rough sticks.

My gene ends here, no more eggs I fear,

This alas the last omelet you fuckwad. 

I curse your mother's twat, guess what,

You're death will be just as bad.

When a hopeless whore, no client score,

I gaped my ass for all to see.

People put coins into my loins,

Before I counted I was happy.

This my song, I sing with ping pong,

To distract the adversarial tact.

Otherwise the ball is a blur,

That I'm blind as a bat is a fact.

What am I saying, is it raining?

Has the heat boiled my brain?

Must be so, bye from an aspiring ho,

Alas no one understood my pain.

P2303 I draw whatever

I draw whatever the fuck I want

This was a portuguese king.

I've reduced him to dick and balls,

A cretin with pretty much nothing. 

I forced my nose in his queen's butt crack,

I see a massacre of menses and gore.

Right then her diarrhea fills my nose,

I call the queen a whore.

Lo and behold, imagination is gold, 

In my mind, I can and will fuck your ass.

I will take a shit in your stupid open yap,

And, hold on, fill it with farts of gas.

Not done yet, I'll piss in it,

Till you've quenched your thirst. 

This and many things to the rich I'll do,

And of course I'll get killed at first.

An unequal world shoots shit to my head,

I vomit venom given a chance. 

Why I always get my ass fucked, 

By lurid and shitty happenstance?

I don't know but I'm still mad,

And ready to fire a turd. 

Well shit's really all I got for offense, 

And for that I have to grunt hard.

A turd halfway out, I wait,

On the toilet like a buddhist monk.

Except my thoughts are pure,

My ass smells like a skunk.

The stink makes me think, 

Who will respect me with shit hanging like this.

As these and other worries plague my mind, 

I try to meditate on my trickle of piss. 

Oh dear god, use a divine rod or clamp,

And pull out this obstruction from my ass.

I promise I'll sing hymns in your praise,

With accompanying fartsy gas.

Holy happy cunt doing acrobatic stunts, 

The turd just left the hallowed hole. 

I am blessed, tears of joy, a toy 

I must buy for god's asshole. 

Happy the boy who shits with joy, 

Shitting is the best thing I think. 

Now I'll rinse gently not to excite, 

Then a glass of wine I'll drink.

P2302 The world is fucked

The world is fucked in so many ways,

It's hard to even count. 

I'd have to invent a number system, 

To represent the emotions that amount. 

This winter large parts are tasting wine,

The finest that money can buy.

While others are starving in frigid cold, 

Their shit exposed to the capricious sky.

Parts of the world are sleeping well,

While others are worried of bills.

Most of us don't have jobs,

Education decides only the suicide pills.

More we learn, the less we know,

The ever expanding circumference is a bitch.

An economic crisis wrought by lies,

And assumptions that favor the rich.

People are two-faced snakes,

Dysfunctional sensibilities, morality down.

They think with their sexual immaturity, 

They often dress out of town.

We wallow in our feces, metaphors as you see,

Fucked in every hole we fight, losing fights. 

There are just too many, and too little,

That can diffuse the misery and blights. 

I know my words like all words of intent,

Fall on deaf unaccustomed ears.

The addicted world goes on trampling lives,

Through these horrible delusional years.

When the shit hits the homo sapiens fan,

History will be written in plastic poop.

Nothing about art, or music will be,

In the fossilized gossamer goop. 

None of this sucking dick, fucking ass,

Humor will survive after we are dust.

As I sit on my bed and think,

A turd has announced its urgency must.

P2301 My bengali piss

My bengali piss will do shit,

But the rules I let the flow flout.

As the piss hits the dust, it must,

Do a "game changer" on the cloggy clout.

Or not, but the day is hot,

I a pissing bengali man stand corrupt. 

I am poor, I am jealous, and depraved, 

And trust me, morally bankrupt. 

As is usual with untalented fools, I drool, 

Droopy my eyes like a sage.

Hunched back race, a grimaced face,

Character stitched from inveterate rage. 

My skin color is inferior, ironically it has more,

Of what the superior skin has less.

I am diabetic, consumptive, full of shit,

I have a typical proud bengali face.

I have no ambition, but my thoughts are big,

I'm horny and disteessfully diseased.

I don't really know where I'm going, 

Direction is treasonous to my creed.

I voted for "red", "sapling", or "flower",

They all fucked my ass to a "win-win" gape.

My asshole is now so fucking huge, 

You can't seal it with an ordinary tape.

Rice pullers and crypto, honesty on tiptoe, 

You get scammed just existing in bengal. 

Jobless engineers huddle in call centers, 

To scam naive americans who call.

Dry sandy cunts, deceased, diseased dicks,

Rule by rhetoric, theft and con.

They talk about the good old days, 

But holy shit, those days are gone.

For treason fucks dragged to prison,

Ought to be the justice of the lands.

India, a democracy in name only,

Kleptocracy as it stands. 

The "next level" pus from my anus,

Thus dribble animus ad-infinitum.

I swear the smell is bad enough,

Full of worms unwholesome itchy rectum. 

My turds are heavy with worry, 

I have nightmares within nightmares. 

On heaven and earth corruption is rife, 

Bullshit on busy thoroughfares. 

A flaccid cock on a disenchanted rock,

Not even a rounded bengali miss.

I can't imagine someone will eat a fish, 

Soaked with these miseries in my piss.

Philosophy used to be my fantasy forte, 

But my recollection is no longer good. 

These days the treatment I get is bad,

As is the quality of prepared food.

People really hate my old fashioned balls,

They want to throw me in the fire.

The country and state are sold to crooks, 

The condition of the Indian is filthy dire.

So I piss, I piss and think, about the stink,

About how everything changed. 

How rotten things have gotten inside, 

But shiny on the surface as arranged. 

Bengali thoughts led the world, 

Now it lags behind the slowest laggards.

It's not even safe to open your mouth, 

Truth is shit that's sorta hard.

From british clerk to an all-round jerk, 

The bengalis are convinced they're best.

In the least exertions, they queue up for,

An afternoon of complete rest.

Belligerent cunts and bickering grunts,

Makes throats go hoarse and dry.

The practice prepares us for pulpit and stage.

It also helps that we enjoy a lie.

Land of poets, now of dacoits, 

Even rabindranath's nobel was stolen.

People entertained by bickering soaps,

Anger expressed in quick semen.

Bose counted photons, now there are tons,

Of turds strewn around, we call "us".

The bengali superiority is a myth of sorts, 

A festering inbreeding pus.

Raja Ram Mohan Roy would have thrown up,

If he came back to the polluted today.

He'd find a sky brown like people's poop, 

There's not much for him to say.

Constipated and hot, we shit a lot,

The holy rivers a witness to the feat.

The people and poop go to the afterlife,

Passengers sharing a "make in india" seat.

Oversupply of invisible gods at the helm,

Or their mustachioed pollitical goons.

The people maybe educated to a degree,

But act like demented cartoons. 

Like a herd of sheep the idiots heed,

To the strident voice with acrimonious shrill.

They bend over and present their ass,

Are presented with the fucked-forever pill.

They join the ranks, full of shit and thanks,

For the empty promises that are made.

Bleeding from their ass they limp,

The true bengalis are all dead.

*game-changer, win-win, next-level and various other loser compound word pairs have slipped into the fledgling Indian vocabulary, making it sound even more fucked up than it needs to be.

P2300

P2299

P2298

P2297 The shit of my dream

The shit of my dream, came with lubed anal rim,

The greek gods would've been proud.

This turd was shaped like an icosahedron,

The fart was rather loud.

My dreams do fail, to really sail,

To anywhere worth going. 

I dreamt this turd, I dreamt very hard,

And now I'll be showing. 

The turd is brown, I fear not frown, 

That's the color of my clout.

A brown man, sitting on a shitting pan,

I rummage inside my ass to bring it out.

Hinge and bracket, a turd in a packet, 

Hallelujah god answering my natural calls.

Appropriately appreciating shit is a start,

After shit don't scratch your balls.

A holier than thou religious cow,

I imagine my shit its mouth fit.

Praise the lord, for instance for, 

An endless supply of shits to shit.

Holy hoot, farts followed by poot,

Now I feel a little bubble of joy.

That turd stretched my anus,

I need to relax with a sex toy.

But this icosahedron shit, I couldn't store it,

It smelled really really bad.

I vomited thrice, the gods threw dice,

And I went raving mad.

I fell asleep, the sleep was deep,

I dreamt my asshole became a picnic spot.

Verily many creatures played on the grass,

It was eden, and the sun was hot.

In the garden of eden, snake fucked hen,

The birds vomiting up worms dead.

In a seedy cot, god smoked pot,

And was fucking humanity in the head.

I didn't know, I'll be part of a show,

But god said drop your pants and shit.

In my dream I am charming and prim,

I said yes, now awake, deep in holy shit.

Now I always pray to god when I shit,

And given up the inconvenience of pants. 

Please spread this holy story far and wide,

Wearing only shitty holy underpants. 

P2296

P2295

P2294

P2293

P2292 I'm happy like this

Shit and piss, I'm happy like this,

But my sausage is rather sad.

It's not seen a hole in a million years, 

It might just go fucking mad.

Imagine a mad dick and itchy asshole, 

A belligerent pubic pair.

If I don't find a miss to suck my cock,

Dare I say despair. 

Cancel culture curse, social vultures, 

Poison my remaining hours.

I stand on an abyss looking down at a pit,

With venomous snakes with flowers.

Perceived obsolescence, fluctuating pence,

I buy an underwear slightly better.

This new one comes with a hygienist, 

She says she's an avid go-getter. 

Romantic I am, an introverted clam,

I masturbate with my lover hand. 

A self made man, and only he can,

Rebel to take a moral stand. 

I've heard females like the smell of piss,

I've got a bottle full of it.

I have sprayed it under my arm and tongue,

But I still smell like shit.

Maybe a bath, but water I hate,

I think I have chronic rabies. 

I grit my teeth, and bare my gums,

Drink milk like little babies. 

Tits give me shits, the ones with dicks,

They insist I fuck the wrong hole. 

Then when done, they turn around, 

Fuck the shit out of my asshole. 

My mustache is strong, I can't be wrong, 

The gods are going to tell.

Shit blowing in the fart, my personal art,

Need to fuck my way to hell.

In a bed of flour, in my last hour, 

I'll still be kneading dough for bread. 

The shit stain that sticks to my crack,

Is really an illusion in my head.

Don't ever trust a soul, everyone is an asshole, 

Anything you reveal will be ammunition. 

It will be used against you to gaslight, 

Or fuck you into a shit confession. 

The world is a selfish sinkhole, 

Bastards and fraudsters all around. 

Unless you lick the right asshole,

You'll be nowhere to be found. 

P2291 I vomit up food

I vomit up food, I'm no good,

I'm a piece of shit you see.

I can't get along, my dick not long,

There's something wrong with me.

For instance my face, a wrinkly surface, 

Doesn't inspire a miss to look.

The gods don't care, that my pubic hair,

Has lice in every itchy nook.

So I should die, I should buy a tie,

And hang myself from it.

These and other different thoughts, 

Make me feel like shit.

Maybe not my fault, my shit has salt,

And it disobeyed gravity. 

Can't conform to rules,

I hide behind profanity. 

But this life is shit, I know it,

I don't know what I can do.

The imaginary god I pray has to say,

I should sell my shit as glue. 

That's an idea though, the shit flow,

Has been interrupted some. 

I had to pull a highfalutin out,

That was sticking to the rectum.

Yes that's what I'll do, I'll sell shit as glue, 

Hallelujah the god is good. 

The clouds fart a song so nice, 

I vomit some more food.

P2290 Dick head ass

I'm a dick head ass, full of gas,

And full of smelly shit. 

I am everywhere, my smart snare, 

You can't ever avoid it.

Because think about it, 

I don't really go out like this.

I wear the mask for the task,

I don't show the holes for shit and piss.

I'm lying all the time, crime,

Is really all about twisting hands.

The world is full of people to prey on,

My attire and cologne speak brands.

I'll fuck you, and you won't even know,

I set up scams everywhere. 

The governments are in my pocket, 

They are whores I tie to a chair. 

This world belongs to us, the corrupt,

We alone get to suck its blood. 

Everyone else is disposable, like condoms, 

We flush them in the flood.

P2289

P2288 I pretend I'm a king

I pretend I'm a king but haven't got a thing

Naked like the day I was born.

The world is shit I know it,

Feces everywhere and so on.

Never trust a friend, it'll be your end,

They say they come in peace. 

They shit in your mouth, stab your back,

Cut you in a million piece.

But I'm really a stoic, very heroic, 

I have plans to sit on my ass.

I won't take a bath, let my pubes grow,

And curse the ruling class. 

Plus I can see, and it's not just me,

That smoking weed is an in thing.

Drinking piss in a martini glass,

A lime makes the piss sing. 

I make do with what I have,

Often just bodily waste. 

I store my shit in large bell jars, 

With piss I prepare a paste.

I'm sorry I'm mad, but don't be sad,

There's nothing I could really do.

Destiny my friend, is my nuanced end,

Or a cage in a third world zoo.

Plus the doomer dicks say it's all sick,

And we're all going to die.

Just a matter of years they say,

No need to buy a new tie.

So here I stand, on a land not bland,

In the holy nataraja pose.

This would have pissed the holy cow,

Had I said it in sanskrit prose.

I don't care, I let people scare,

They have an itchy asshole to scratch. 

The mind of mine, will rhyme still fine,

I need a publisher for my egg to hatch.

P2287

P2286 Pissing on the past

I'm pissing on the past, that shit didn't last,

Like all years it's now gone.

The new one is here, no hero or seer, 

War and suffering when you turn anything on.

Homo bipedal bastards dangling cocks,

Blowhards are all I ever see.

Fireworks I agree are spectacular, 

But so is the abject and cruel poverty. 

The vanity of the vain, gives me anal pain,

But the reality is crowded with them.

Like feces they float, strident their throat, 

Basket of deplorables, without a shred of shame.

I don't think there's anything right, 

As long as we carry on like this. 

Vacuous heads in the sand, a sinking island, 

All I got is a head bursting full of piss.

One tear filled chalazion, and four cavities, 

I'm sorry I look like lumps unleashed.

But the pain and discomfort on my face,

Isn't the only pain there is.

Bending truth is painful as a tooth, 

That's lived its awesome life.

I spy on my soul, not yet an asshole, 

But sitting on a sharpened knife. 

So I piss and shit, yes that's it,

Those keep me engaged full time.

The world swims by with its ducks in line,

I pucker for the next turd in line.

P2285 Shake shake shake

Shake shake shake, please give me a break, 

I don't have any money honey. 

I'm sort of broke,  a wanker, poor bloke,

I'm waiting for the sun to be sunny.

I promise you miss, on god's goodly piss,

I'll shower you with gifts this year.

As I can see, twenty twenty three, 

Is the year to get laid my dear.

So ready your hole, clear your soul,

Wait till I steady my rock.

Until then shaking me is vain,

I'd like it if you suck my cock.

I want to stand on my feet again miss,

Misery, disease and poverty defeat. 

Would you want to stay on my side,

Allow me to stand on my feet?

P2284 Shitting out the old

As customary I'm shitting out the old,

And embracing the new year.

Big promises, a disciplined life,

No more shitfaced with fear.

I'll scale the mountain, piss a fountain, 

The gods have told me not to be shy.

I'll lead the blind to a busy street,

In the middle say goodbye. 

I'll fuck the innocent people, 

Wage war against the meek and weak.

I'll give cruelty a new meaning, 

I won't a single promise keep.

I'll side with the happy people, 

The rich will be my friends. 

I'll kick the poor and needy,

To their very early ends.

I'll shit on the planet, 

Suck all the juice it has.

I'll shit in honesty's mouth,

I'll poot obnoxious gas.

Start a genocide yes I will,

Salute to the mercenary kings.

These and many many plans,

To destroy all the things.

P2283

P2282

P2281 An ass of a boss

There once was an ass of a boss, quite irate 

Who loudly his employees would berate.

Of employees, all meek, he'd critique,

Their work, and yell with spit and hate.

He'd plop his hairy schlong, all day long, 

Showing how their shit was always wrong. 

He'd nitpick and moan, grit his teeth alone,

Color people as weak and himself very strong.

But one day, a brave soul did stand, 

He had had enough, he said with a huff. 

He said to the boss, "can't no more this shit take",

And threw his smart arsery in a trough.

For years, this boss had ruled with an iron fist, 

But now, his power began to wilt.

The employees all cheered his tears,

As he escorted himself out, red with guilt. 

P2280

P2279 I fell flat

I fell flat, splat, just like that,

I may be dead in the head.

My gut and butt splattered on the floor,

The bloody floor now all red.

I thought I could fly, that I wouldn't die,

Just another manic trip.

Now I'm broken, sweet words not spoken,

Just waiting for the power switch to flip.

This my day, official birthday, 

What a day to be fucking dead.

I had no brain, thought superman was plain,

Jumped off the Burj Khalifa instead.

At least I won't be depressed, 

This is it my friends,

The story of a manic depressive, 

This is always how it ends.