I fart through my ass, that's where the gas,
I usually by decree must store.
Sometimes I burp or hiccup,
In my mouth a dead discount whore.
To get a fart right, hold one ass cheek tight,
But today the sonata I couldn't play.
I strained again, this time a lot of pain,
Shy fart delay, a snaking shit clay.
Like a balloon with two confused holes,
I poot a toot, play my part in farts.
Sometimes it takes a little coaxing,
In harassing fits and unneeded starts.
The gods are too good, about fartsy food,
They don't seem to ever complain.
There isn't one for gas, or an ostracized god ass,
Prude gods labeled him a smelly shit stain.
Usually on top of this, I finished with a piss,
Ruminating the ill fate of the god of farts.
Sometimes with shit, you think you're done,
But then suddenly the holiness restarts.
With my holy hole, and a purest pure soul,
I clamp my ass for a session and talk to god.
I promise a mango, ticket for titty tango,
Diarrhea is my next month's festive fun.
Holy my hope, wash asshole with soap,
Hurrah, bubbles fly filled with fart.
Farts and poot, often the root,
Of how belligerent wars start.
I am my own friend, and so till the end,
I stick to my shit and that's it.
This fancy rock, cunts sucking fancy cock,
Makes my shit travel backwards as vomit.
What is fart:
Stomach gas is a mixture of air and gases (such as carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, and methane) produced by the digestive process in the stomach and small intestine. It is formed when the digestive process breaks down food and when bacteria in the gut ferment undigested carbohydrates.
The reasons why gas can become more noticeable or worsen at times can include:
Eating too quickly: Swallowing air along with food can increase the amount of gas in the digestive tract.
Eating certain foods: Some foods, such as beans, lentils, broccoli, cabbage, and onions, can cause more gas to form in the digestive tract.
Lactose intolerance: If a person is lactose intolerant, they may experience gas and bloating after consuming dairy products.
Fructose intolerance: If a person is fructose intolerant, they may experience gas and bloating after consuming foods high in fructose, such as fruits and sweeteners.
Artificial sweeteners: Artificial sweeteners, such as sorbitol and mannitol, can cause gas and bloating in some people.
Constipation: When stools remain in the colon for a long time, bacteria have more time to ferment carbohydrates, producing gas.
Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS): IBS is a condition that affects the large intestine and can cause symptoms such as gas, bloating, constipation, and diarrhea.
Bad Smell:
The odor of stomach gas is primarily due to sulfur-containing gases, such as hydrogen sulfide and mercaptans. The specific odor of the gas can vary depending on several factors, including:
The type of food being digested: Different foods produce different odors as they are broken down in the digestive tract. For example, foods high in sulfur, such as garlic and onions, can produce a strong odor.
Bacterial flora in the gut: The type and balance of bacteria in the gut can affect the odor of the gas. An overgrowth of certain types of bacteria, such as sulfate-reducing bacteria, can increase the production of sulfurous gase
Health conditions: Certain health conditions, such as celiac disease, Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis, can affect the type and balance of bacteria in the gut and cause changes in the odor of gas.
Medications: Certain medications, such as antibiotics, can disrupt the balance of bacteria in the gut and cause changes in the odor of gas.
Here are some tips to help reduce the odor of gas:
Drink plenty of water: Drinking water can help flush out sulfurous gases from the digestive tract and reduce the odor of gas.
Use spices: Spices, such as ginger, cardamom, and fennel, can help reduce the odor of gas.
Try activated charcoal: Activated charcoal can help absorb gas and reduce the odor of gas. It can be taken in supplement form or added to food and drinks.
Eat fresh parsley: Fresh parsley has natural odor-neutralizing properties and can help reduce the odor of gas.
Chew gum or suck on mints: Chewing gum or sucking on mints can help neutralize the odor of gas and freshen your breath.
Take a bath with baking soda: Adding a cup of baking soda to your bathwater can help neutralize body odors, including the odor of gas.
Avoid foods high in sulfurous gases: Foods high in sulfurous gases, such as onions and garlic, can contribute to the odor of gas.
Natural remedies for gas:
Ginger: Ginger has natural anti-inflammatory properties and can help soothe the digestive tract.
Peppermint: Peppermint has a soothing effect on the digestive system and can help relieve gas and bloating.
Fennel: Fennel seeds contain compounds that can help relax the muscles of the digestive tract and reduce gas.
Anise: Anise seeds contain compounds that can help stimulate the production of digestive juices and reduce gas.
Caraway: Caraway seeds have carminative properties that can help relieve gas and bloating.
Chamomile: Chamomile tea has a calming effect on the digestive system and can help relieve gas and bloating.
Activated Charcoal: Activated charcoal can help absorb gas-producing compounds in the digestive tract.
Activated charcoal can be made at home, but it requires careful handling and precise measurements to ensure its effectiveness and safety. Here's a simple recipe for making activated charcoal at home:
You need:
Hardwood lump charcoalSteel potBaking sodaHeat source (stove or oven)Safety gear (gloves, mask, and safety glasses)
Crush the hardwood lump charcoal into a fine powder using a mortar and pestle or a coffee grinder.
Mix the charcoal powder with an equal amount of baking soda.
Place the mixture into the steel pot and heat it over a stove or in an oven at a temperature of about 900°C (1600°F) for 30 minutes.
After 30 minutes, remove the pot from the heat source and let it cool completely.
Once cooled, sieve the mixture to separate the activated charcoal from any remaining baking soda.
Store the activated charcoal in an airtight container.
Medicine:
Antacids: Antacids, such as simethicone (Gas-X, Mylanta Gas), can help reduce gas by breaking up bubbles in the digestive tract.
Proton pump inhibitors (PPIs): PPIs, such as omeprazole (Prilosec) and lansoprazole (Prevacid), can help reduce the amount of gas produced in the stomach.
H2 receptor antagonists: H2 receptor antagonists, such as famotidine (Pepcid) and ranitidine (Zantac), can help reduce the amount of gas produced in the stomach by blocking the action of histamine, a substance that stimulates the production of stomach acid.
Laxatives: Laxatives, such as polyethylene glycol (Miralax), can help relieve bloating and gas by promoting bowel movements.
Probiotics: Probiotics, such as Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium, can help improve gut health and reduce gas and bloating by restoring the balance of bacteria in the gut.
