P2381 I ask myself

 

 

I ask myself, with an anxious ache, how I 

Shall fare in sped headwinds, 

Uncertainty hidden in certainty reveals itself, 

in hours of doubts and terrors twinned.

With honesty, I've met each truth, 

What I know, I've tried to share.

But not in all, a true friend,

is found who doesn't pretend to care.

Around me lie the unprincipled masks, 

I'm seen as a means to their selfish end.

Balance is rarely seen: first use, then ghosting;

Self-righteous logic is easy to bend.

Avatars I counted as unfair fare

Freeloaders, fraudsters, and fabricators are three.

I find myself alone, pensive in grief, 

reflecting on what I couldn't see.

Wondering and wandering I've not

found kindness that still exists, 

If love is real or just a fleeting belief, 

where only greed and hatred persist.

Yet still I hope, and I hold onto hope.

One day, a light in the darkness will shine.

With rational thoughts and acts of grace, 

And all the good in men will align.

My two cent: Never get complacent,

to be that spark, a hope for light.

To dispel the darkness and the damp,

Usher a world kind, baroque and bright.

And I'll not be weary on my way, 

Purpose, love and truth to fill.

And through change, winds may sway, 

Get the fields ready for a till.

My ground, not unyielding or aloof,

And with consensus and goodwill. 

What is right, and the good will persist, 

A new hope I hope will fill.

 

 

 

P2380

P2379

P2378 Zen koan

Shit hopping zen koan, why does no one,

This mindless flip-flopping shopping stop?

I a beggar begging, a scrotum and nothing, 

It forces out from me piss, raves and hop.

Hell I care about this bullshit snare,

I'd stay the way I always am.

No to euphemism or any ass-ism shit fare.

I do not like uncle fucking sam.

The world weak, fools with tools to tweak, 

Murderers and rapists with pimps and whores. 

They make technology a lame excuse,

Run things worse than before.

Conformity is unsettling and shitty, 

Homogeneity led to famines in Ireland. 

The scourge of the time, cloned and supine, 

Nitwit shits proud with heads in the sand.

Foaming from yap, a restorative nap,

Maybe what I need.

I no longer care, nor can anyone scare,

No one the dim country's need feed

My piss is yellow because as a fellow,

I am not an imitation shit spit.

Everytime I hear, people talking their rear,

It brings my blood to a raging fit.

From buried in sand to phone in hand,

People more and more after shallower gains.

A dead head, an automaton led,

Sleep-walking palimpsest of shit stains

P2377 Artsy markov chain

An artsy markov chain fartsy smart, 

Start the future it did, with a heavy heart. 

Eight fucks thought angina was shit hot,

Start with a fart, horny a hurt heart.

Friends and friendship, shit you must skip,

It's a scam, forget what you cram.

People are bullshit fuck sick poop,

Wham bam slams that always scram.

Religious cock coated with hemlock,

Want people to suck or throat.

Then the holy, fucking godly folly, 

Makes it easy to sink all boats.

But what got fucked in a jiffy, is iffy,

Kolkata sips discarded darjeeling tea.

Phase after the chase, a case without base,

Me in pee never a pretty sight to see.

But winter arrived with a chill in the air, 

Frozen fucking rear, a fear quite near.

Mosquitoes sing, laity sucking, 

Near seer fucked with shit in his rear. 

So the truck of fucks ran out of luck, 

Keen on being seen, mouse in their might.

Never markov's chain asshole pain,

Butt fucked plight, a sight of blight. 

How fucked this shit, still I lit,

The sick pubic ticks in wick fire.

Markov's blight, future not bright,

Do get ass fucked dear sire.

P2376 I shit in peace

I shit in peace, don't disturb me please, 

And yes, the gods shit like this.

What's to see, ass don't dare be,

With my puckered asshole I kiss.

I answer nature's calls, well within my walls,

Mind your business why don't you!

After the last turd, hides inside a bird,

By mistake I ate her silly ass too.

A bullshit bird on my ass, gagging in the gas,

Is waiting for her to come through. 

It may be too late, I ate her fate,

I'll eat this belligerent bird brain too.

I'm famished already, my shit is heavy,

And that's a load to carry around. 

Always full of shit and quite proud of it,

Me myself and I, in round ass found.

Hello to the gods, yellow shit sucking sods,

Really holy very my intent always is.

I drank cola today, the whole goddamm day

Now flooding the temple floor with piss.

All shit stains or smears, cleaned by troll tears,

I fuck these fanatics in the face.

Truck full of facebook fuck, I make them suck,

Hell-no-hallelujah ho, a base decadent case.

The roaches on my ass cheeks, married freaks,

Many baby fucks they fucked sick.

Heaven loves no bores, the famous seven whores,

Fuck, bitch, cunt, asshole, cock, tit, dick.

After shit I plan, extended eating and,

Spitting on a chosen sick atheist shit.

These are villains vain, sacrilegious poop pain.

Very viscous vomit on face is fit. 

The hairy fairy maid, swats the shit flies dead,

And licks clean my asshole when I pray.

Happy this holy hole, soul enriched farts foul,

She may make more gay cakes today.

P2375 Summers of sorrow

Summers of sorrow, you know,

Good seasons never last.

Where will the birds go,

When nature's plenty is past.

And then you or I,

All our best memory go.

One by one, in the spin that is spun,

A to and fro, moving too slow.

The dew in rainbows are never there, 

When I stare hard to look.

The things that make up this life,

Are spooks similarly mistook. 

Chance a good change to will, but still,

The harried hopeless misconstrue.

Hope I hear you in your trembling whisper, 

But like always I can't see you.

It is a necessary magic in reality, that we are but one entity, our fate intertwined with nature's, although we aren't sure. As it spirals downwards, everything shall follow in its wake. Yet, in the shadows of a changing planet, some like me have the audacity to hold fast to a glimmer of faint hope, a dream of change.

P2374

P2373 I'm too old

I'm too old I've been told, 

That old needs to be dead to fit.

"Please die of flu, very very thank you,

Dying, again, please consider it.

You're too old to fuck or get fucked, 

Why don't you just fuck off.

Disgusting unworthy piece of aging shit,

Spreading hooping cough. 

Your cavernous hollow, please follow, 

Your bones only fit buried in the soil.

Or I'm sure your pyre will be set on fire,

India sells subsidized kerosene oil.

The world needs cheerful fresh faces,

Not a wretched and crusty king lear. 

Change can happen when often, 

The likes of you are no longer here.

So go on now, die somehow, 

Your wrinkles premonition of doom.

When you go, the seeds you sow,

Future will need the freed up room."

P2372 谢谢 (xiè xiè) - Thanks

A swooning fool, how totally cool,

Biden a balloon gone soon.

He doesn't realize I am the king,

Or that he's a disney cartoon. 

What an old fart, bless his heart, 

I'm glad mad vlad keeps him in shape.

If an inflated spent rubber can ruckus raise,

Democracy should get ready for rape.

Inside propaganda crap, outside debt trap,

I'm sure I've been loud and clear. 

It's stupid to have so many nations,

I sir will usher common universal fear. 

Most remain supine, they have no spine, 

The rest are self destructive at best.

It isn't really all that hard with credit card,

A jest to test the yankee pest.

The balloon did just, the old order must rust,

Ass without toilet paper, yes sir.

I'll stop them from wiping their assholes, 

I am an explosion connoisseur. 

Then in form of a pill, fantastic fentanyl,

I send that as a suppository free.

In a day or two, defecation sans clue,

It will be a shit genocide spree.

From super power to shit in its last hour,

A frantic blissful session of orgy shit.

The package on the suppository will,

Show a dragon in a hilarious fit.

I gift my friend, the russian fiend, 

The state of alaska and take his chutzpah. 

The Indians I bribe, just a backwards tribe,

Prone to twerks, infighting and holy hee-haw.

The blabbering balloon tells me soon,

Where strategically I strike.

Within days, with thanks I say,

I have my Chinese Reich. 

P2371 I'm feverish and silly,

I'm feverish and silly, words wily nilly, 

A tropical paradise of parasites.

Plus off the topamax, no instigating axe,

All wrong a penitent pen writes.

A farrago of farts, a motley of parts,

Distinct collusion of bacteria and sulphur. 

The whiff I sniff, not advised if,

Unless you're alone in a windy car.

Emotional crisis a midlife sepsis,

I ain't kissing any fucking ass.  

I just don't like the taste of crusty shit,

Or suck religious cocks with bullshit gas.

Balls hairy and smelly, I see on telly,

Women go for bad boys.

Seamen's semen brand their men,

They like to be their sex toys..

Malarkey and love, fit in a glove, 

There's not really love after a while. 

Fucking hormones, puffy nipple cones,

Evaporate on contact with bile.

Don't feel upbeat, two faces but no feet,

I'm make in India, a sordid joke.

From mediocrity to flatulent city,

The old fire too dead to be stoked.

P2370 খানকির ছেলে খেলো

খানকির ছেলে খেলো 

খিঁচে খৈনি হয়ে গেল 

 খেলোর পায়ের জুতি

সবাই রোজ ওখানেই মুতি 

খেলোর বিচি বেজায় ছোট 

কড়াইশুঁটির পুতি 

খেলোর বাবাও খিঁচে খতম

বানাত পার্টির জন্য পোদের বোম

আজ খানকিও নেই বেঁচে 

দুঃখে দেশ হেগে ফেলেচে

খানকির মেয়ে খনা 

চূড়ান্ত অশান্তির কনা 

খনার বচনে রাতে বাড়ার আংশিক পচন 

অশ্লীল বিভিন্ন কারণে 

সোনাগাছিতে রিটায়েড এখন 

পাদ ভরা দেশে 

মানুষ বাদ হয়ে হয়েছে গু  

কবিতা ভালো লাগলে আশাকরি বলবেন

শুভ্র একশত আট বার থ্যাঙ্ক ইউ

P2369

P2368 I fart through my ass

I fart through my ass, that's where the gas,

I usually by decree must store.

Sometimes I burp or hiccup, 

In my mouth a dead discount whore.

To get a fart right, hold one ass cheek tight,

But today the sonata I couldn't play.

I strained again, this time a lot of pain,

Shy fart delay, a snaking shit clay.

Like a balloon with two confused holes,

I poot a toot, play my part in farts.

Sometimes it takes a little coaxing, 

In harassing fits and unneeded starts.

The gods are too good, about fartsy food,

They don't seem to ever complain. 

There isn't one for gas, or an ostracized god ass,

Prude gods labeled him a smelly shit stain.

Usually on top of this, I finished with a piss,

Ruminating the ill fate of the god of farts.

Sometimes with shit, you think you're done,

But then suddenly the holiness restarts.

With my holy hole, and a purest pure soul,

I clamp my ass for a session and talk to god. 

I promise a mango, ticket for titty tango,

Diarrhea is my next month's festive fun.

Holy my hope, wash asshole with soap,

Hurrah, bubbles fly filled with fart.

Farts and poot, often the root,

Of how belligerent wars start. 

I am my own friend, and so till the end,

I stick to my shit and that's it.

This fancy rock, cunts sucking fancy cock,

Makes my shit travel backwards as vomit. 

What is fart:

Stomach gas is a mixture of air and gases (such as carbon dioxide, oxygen, nitrogen, and methane) produced by the digestive process in the stomach and small intestine. It is formed when the digestive process breaks down food and when bacteria in the gut ferment undigested carbohydrates.

The reasons why gas can become more noticeable or worsen at times can include:

Eating too quickly: Swallowing air along with food can increase the amount of gas in the digestive tract.

Eating certain foods: Some foods, such as beans, lentils, broccoli, cabbage, and onions, can cause more gas to form in the digestive tract.

Lactose intolerance: If a person is lactose intolerant, they may experience gas and bloating after consuming dairy products.

Fructose intolerance: If a person is fructose intolerant, they may experience gas and bloating after consuming foods high in fructose, such as fruits and sweeteners.

Artificial sweeteners: Artificial sweeteners, such as sorbitol and mannitol, can cause gas and bloating in some people.

Constipation: When stools remain in the colon for a long time, bacteria have more time to ferment carbohydrates, producing gas.

Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS): IBS is a condition that affects the large intestine and can cause symptoms such as gas, bloating, constipation, and diarrhea.

Bad Smell:

The odor of stomach gas is primarily due to sulfur-containing gases, such as hydrogen sulfide and mercaptans. The specific odor of the gas can vary depending on several factors, including:

The type of food being digested: Different foods produce different odors as they are broken down in the digestive tract. For example, foods high in sulfur, such as garlic and onions, can produce a strong odor.

Bacterial flora in the gut: The type and balance of bacteria in the gut can affect the odor of the gas. An overgrowth of certain types of bacteria, such as sulfate-reducing bacteria, can increase the production of sulfurous gase

Health conditions: Certain health conditions, such as celiac disease, Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis, can affect the type and balance of bacteria in the gut and cause changes in the odor of gas.

Medications: Certain medications, such as antibiotics, can disrupt the balance of bacteria in the gut and cause changes in the odor of gas.

Here are some tips to help reduce the odor of gas:

Drink plenty of water: Drinking water can help flush out sulfurous gases from the digestive tract and reduce the odor of gas.

Use spices: Spices, such as ginger, cardamom, and fennel, can help reduce the odor of gas.

Try activated charcoal: Activated charcoal can help absorb gas and reduce the odor of gas. It can be taken in supplement form or added to food and drinks.

Eat fresh parsley: Fresh parsley has natural odor-neutralizing properties and can help reduce the odor of gas.

Chew gum or suck on mints: Chewing gum or sucking on mints can help neutralize the odor of gas and freshen your breath.

Take a bath with baking soda: Adding a cup of baking soda to your bathwater can help neutralize body odors, including the odor of gas.

Avoid foods high in sulfurous gases: Foods high in sulfurous gases, such as onions and garlic, can contribute to the odor of gas.

Natural remedies for gas:

Ginger: Ginger has natural anti-inflammatory properties and can help soothe the digestive tract.

Peppermint: Peppermint has a soothing effect on the digestive system and can help relieve gas and bloating.

Fennel: Fennel seeds contain compounds that can help relax the muscles of the digestive tract and reduce gas.

Anise: Anise seeds contain compounds that can help stimulate the production of digestive juices and reduce gas.

Caraway: Caraway seeds have carminative properties that can help relieve gas and bloating.

Chamomile: Chamomile tea has a calming effect on the digestive system and can help relieve gas and bloating.

Activated Charcoal: Activated charcoal can help absorb gas-producing compounds in the digestive tract.

Activated charcoal can be made at home, but it requires careful handling and precise measurements to ensure its effectiveness and safety. Here's a simple recipe for making activated charcoal at home:

You need:

Hardwood lump charcoalSteel potBaking sodaHeat source (stove or oven)Safety gear (gloves, mask, and safety glasses)

Crush the hardwood lump charcoal into a fine powder using a mortar and pestle or a coffee grinder.

Mix the charcoal powder with an equal amount of baking soda.

Place the mixture into the steel pot and heat it over a stove or in an oven at a temperature of about 900°C (1600°F) for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, remove the pot from the heat source and let it cool completely.

Once cooled, sieve the mixture to separate the activated charcoal from any remaining baking soda.

Store the activated charcoal in an airtight container.

Medicine:

Antacids: Antacids, such as simethicone (Gas-X, Mylanta Gas), can help reduce gas by breaking up bubbles in the digestive tract.

Proton pump inhibitors (PPIs): PPIs, such as omeprazole (Prilosec) and lansoprazole (Prevacid), can help reduce the amount of gas produced in the stomach.

H2 receptor antagonists: H2 receptor antagonists, such as famotidine (Pepcid) and ranitidine (Zantac), can help reduce the amount of gas produced in the stomach by blocking the action of histamine, a substance that stimulates the production of stomach acid.

Laxatives: Laxatives, such as polyethylene glycol (Miralax), can help relieve bloating and gas by promoting bowel movements.

Probiotics: Probiotics, such as Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium, can help improve gut health and reduce gas and bloating by restoring the balance of bacteria in the gut.

P2367

P2366

P2365

P2364

P2363

P2362

P2361 I love numbers

 

I love numbers more than hers.

I really really, really do.

I'm literally on cloud nine,

When numbers I think of you.

Everything is really a number, 

Even my insanity, the loose screw.

The color of our sky; that's zero zero one.

if you're into the red-green-blue.

Between is and ought, wars are fought,

Over dimensions we can't think.

We are constrained as apes,

Numbers are the bridging link.

I get so excited what they are

In many ways, infinity isn't the limit.

How the primes are the bricks, 

And how smartly they all fit!

You've really got to get a ladder,

And climb the mathematics stair.

Once you reach a curious rung, you'll see:

The world is a beautiful affair.

The beauty of numbers lie

in their deep untapped potential. 

They can represent anything.

from nothing to the most consequential.

Each number is like a building block.

a piece of the lego that

When put together in some clever way, 

creates a magnificent picture of a fact. 

The more I study numbers, 

the more I realise I want to know more.

just how intricately they are woven 

into the fabric of our inner core.

The Pythagorean Theorem, 

for example, is simply sensational. 

of the relationship between the sides 

of a right triangle, thus the orthogonal. 

And the Fibonacci sequence,

is a testament to what is natural, 

showing up in everything from the

distribution of petals to the cosmological. 

This was sponsored by

P2360

P2359

P2358 You fuck with this (Necrotizing fasciitis)

You fuck with this, you don't live to piss,

It's an infection♡ that fucks your rear○.

You're pain isn't mere nor is it vain.

You'll soon be dead, with fear♧.

Sometimes pathogens get pissed,

You can't really please these little fucks. 

One infection and you're good to go,

When dead, life really sucks.

But here is the thing I bring:

To your attention, dirty dirt!

Don't bathe too often or wash your hands,

Always kiss in French when you flirt.

Leave your shit hanging on your hole,

Let it tour the underwear.

I mean, you can't hog all the fun,

Share shit and spit in the clear.

Fuck people in the ass and face,

Don't rinse, but do often repeat. 

Shit that infects gets respect, 

Otherwise it spreads without defeat□.

Lead an infectious life,

Make sure your shit flies everywhere. 

Glamorous the turd that's like a bird,

And soon we fucks won't be here.

♡ Necrotizing fasciitis, also known as flesh-eating disease, is caused by several types of bacteria, including:

Group A Streptococcus (GAS)

Klebsiella pneumoniae

Staphylococcus aureus

Streptococcus pyogenes

Escherichia coli

Clostridium perfringens

Vibrio vulnificus (in cases of necrotizing fasciitis acquired through contaminated water or seafood)

Underlying factors, such as a weakened immune system, are also involved in the development of the disease.

○Not true (just using my poetic license), Necrotizing fasciitis can occur anywhere on the body where there is soft tissue, including the skin, muscle, and fascia (the tissue that covers and connects muscles). It most commonly occurs in the extremities, such as the legs and arms, but can also occur in the abdominal wall, trunk, and genital area. The condition can develop after an injury, surgery, or infection, and can spread quickly through the tissue if left untreated.

♧Necrotizing fasciitis is a rare but serious bacterial infection that can start anywhere on the body where there is skin and subcutaneous tissue. The bacteria usually enter the body through a break in the skin, such as a cut, burn, insect bite, or puncture wound. The infection can then spread quickly along the fascial planes, the sheets of connective tissue that surround muscle and other organs, destroying the tissue and causing the skin to become discolored and blistered. The bacteria release toxins that cause the tissue to die, leading to the characteristic symptoms of necrotizing fasciitis, including severe pain, fever, and rapid progression of the infection.

□Antibiotic resistance is a major concern in the treatment of necrotizing fasciitis, as many of the bacteria that cause this condition have developed resistance to antibiotics over time. This is because necrotizing fasciitis is a serious and often life-threatening infection, so antibiotics are often used to treat it. However, when antibiotics are used frequently and over prolonged periods of time, bacteria can develop resistance to them, making it more difficult to effectively treat the infection. This can result in the development of antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria, which can be very difficult to treat and can lead to serious outcomes, including death.

P2357

P2356

P2355 God hates caps

God hates caps, this god of gaps,

His shit is a diarrheal yellow.

The men under him, work in porn films, 

By definition he's an honorable fellow. 

He looks like a dick, a heavenly prick, 

Grotesque make believe shaped by men. 

All the acrimonious bile severally multiplied, 

Bitter ejaculated semen in his pen.

Fairies drink cum from his balls that fall,

"Call fairies" as he loves to call them. 

They suck his dick slick, asshole they lick,

He pimps for the "After-fairy harem".

Sweet ass whore in blood and gore,

God loved you with his pen you know. 

She didn't pray right, or her hole wasn't tight, 

Only a corpse good as a scarecrow. 

More and more, everyone is a whore,

Trembling before an angry deity.

A lopsided civilization about to topple, 

Holy shit hemorrhaging the laity. 

The rainbows dance, an erotic prance,

The feign of colors and beauty skin thin.

Everything fucking everything else,

It's now actually good to sin.

The servile pleaser, strip teaser,

Hickory, dickory, sock the cock.

Vain men like a turd train in a drain,

Flowing over corruption their foundation rock.

The earth is where god's poop,

Every turd born as a holy religious cock.

They say several lies from mouth and eyes,

Their morality a piss wet sock.

Just to thrive, you've to enter this hive,

Pubic petals unfurled and legs spread. 

A dazzlingly bright light is lit and it's dark,

Once you're in the fiction you're dead.

Shit now stands on many bad hands,

Holy fucks rule the globe. 

Dysfunctional dick and ass gaped, 

Every man sits on a hot anal probe.

P2354 Cock sucking fuck

Cock sucking fuck, loaded semen in the truck,

But couldn't fit the boogers today,

I'm going but no idea why boing,

Features an in-flight session of pray.

They gift a bullshit kit, on your first shit,

You become an esteemed jerk. 

You can then fuck the cabin crew, 

A holy bonus perk.

So hey hey hey, my good man say,

We both take a trip in the sky.

The realm of almighty, anus tightly, 

Sealed by our solidarity cry.

Shit flying out, from a flying fuck on route,

Holy the occasion to scream yes!

Let's drop a turd, on a sacrilegious bird,

If it misses, I say report to the press.

God now loose, a character I choose, 

Where you fuck angels in their happy hole. 

That happy hole is the holy asshole,

Which excites a sinful soul.

That is then the goal, let us burn more coal,

And let's continue to trash this rock.

Goldilocks or not, shit-coated snots,

Humble the religious cock.

It knows no pain, and quite vain,

Indiscriminate in the fucking spree.

Come my friends, clap our fucking ends,

Usher genocide on steroids for free.

P2353

P2352 Too hairy they say

No hope today, too hairy they say,

Plus my nose is shaped like a schlong. 

This is a genetic defect on chromosome G,

It's going to get really long. 

Chicks not impressed, I get stressed, 

Drops of piss start to drip.

The gods are with me, clamoring to see,

If this joint sends me on a trip.

I like to touch my asshole a lot,

The only pure pleasure my pet.

Sometimes the finger goes too far inside,

I feel the brain and start to fret.

My dreams are full of creams,

My asshole lubed up to the top.

I am shy and with joy I cry,

Life inserted a bamboo so I hop.

This was a god given gift,

A knack to be struck by crime. 

The times have eaten my chances,

What remains is shit with slime.

P2351 Floating sphincter

The fact that your sinful asshole is floating among 40 fucking thousands of god-forsaken unknown units in the chilly air of unholy, spooky fucking around close to space makes you pensive. The thoughts about all the masturbatory triteness of how insignificant life is at the level of a floating sphincter, firmly saying no to an offal fart that was earlier tested for its potential to kill thousands by suffocation in a closed space,

And to think that if the sphincter fails, there may be an entire flotilla of dangerous things in various states of matter, including plasma, which I am not excluding, and, given the pressures and temperatures involved, some of the Bose-Einstein condensate as well. Why not?

I care to mention here that I laboured over looking up spicy anecdotes about body parts, and as a hindu, I find it a little hurtful that although the mouth went to the brahmin and the foot to the shudra, the dick, cunt, balls, tits, and asshole were not mentioned. The tits would have had to be man tits because it was Purusha in the Rig Veda, a man's world. And so cunt is asking for trouble.

The learned men wore the dhoti, which has openings near the anus, and the ratha, unlike the modern aeroplane, had suitable holes placed at convenient locations.

This may have been the reason why they never had the sphincter discipline that we are familiar with or the volume and distorted nature of smell that gases accumulated at close inimical quarters are prone to exhibit. If such a facility were now made available and I could release my load, I would wonder if the space fairies watching over the deserts would be so kind as to blow them into the open mouth of the recent stodgy and stingy acquaintance I have made and help seal our friendship in a fanfare of holy hiccups and whatever sails the superstitious boat on his part of the sand.

Why is it that I don't particularly find my farts particularly unpleasant, while others find them extremely so? It's quite a tender subject to raise on a date to discuss with a would-be, but what if she has the kind of fart that sets off the wrong alarm bells? Some farts have an evil quality to them. They come with a signature stickiness and stay with you, lingering on the fragile emotional nerves already harried by the memory of the last time something like this happened and you murdered the culprit.

You remember distinctly that you made sure you sent the turds to god to figure out exactly what was there that was so diabolical. And of course you didn't go to jail because all this happened while you were sleeping. What had happened, however, was that you had shit yourself, and the bed had to be thrown out, and it was one of those fancy mattresses.

And all this happened in a time warp when you were graduating from a single cell to a multi-tiered civilization in a parallel parasitic dimension, and that parasite suddenly got involved, things became extremely hairy, and you were on a flight flying back to kolkata after a brief stunt at eating sand the arab way and failing.

While you were eating sand and commenting on how it's not the same as a sandwich, you noticed that people had started to look at you with suspicion, usually the kind that is exhibited in old-fashioned lithographs of prehistoric times and afforded to lepers and other misunderstood creatures with ambulatory issues. 

While it's common sense to flag people you don't understand as mad or heretics, it's only by opening the tight buttons on the bellies of overfed, flatulent, flabby passengers that madness caused by nausea can be properly treated.

The plane is planning to land, which, given all the fart that has accumulated in the cabin, is a good idea. It may be that, unable to exorcise the demon within the gas, it may knock me out literally in a sort of coma, where it wouldn't matter where I land because all land at that stage is la la land.