M59 I sit shit

I sit shit, commode I fit, 

Fart bubbles of tart on top. 

The turds look like birds dead, 

I had eaten at IHOP. 

A sweetheart in my heart had fart, 

I had a heart but it was filled. 

She took my gold and pissed on me, 

The roof fell and she was killed. 

No suvrotica you have entamoeba histolytica, 

Amoebiasis I can tell from the smell. 

Metrogel will cure me I'm sure, 

Surely for the parasite it's hell. 

One fart loud, one fart long, 

Like a song ancient and from an oud.

What broke the camels back was a fart, 

What manners in the desert food. 

Fart after fart, I discover an art, 

Monalisa I can paint with my ass in peace. 

Sufficient half cooked beans the night before,

Senorita I make her pose a smile please. 

M58 bengali

 The morning rain drenched the socks, 

I'm in a wet sock, socked half-wit and dim.

Had to fight, there was no light,

Calculus in calcutta is as wet as it is grim.

A soggy weedy smoky haze,

Mom's not doing too well.

She's shrunk and with her what remains of my mind.

It's strange I had teeth as sharp as broken shell.

The world pays for its selfish ways in more or less,

I won't be here, the tomorrow most will see.

Too many people with twisted truths,

Untwist them and they swirl undead zombies, carefree.

I'm glad this city, this state, this country, I came,

It helped like an electron microscope view. 

I would have missed from the distant view what,

Poverty and despair a special calcutta brew.

Selfishness and hatred like fancy flower bags, 

Show up on every shoulder on every purse. 

Calcutta can't blame white Europeans,

Now they are far far far Far worse.

Dengue they hide, corruption their pride, 

Ministers and laity race for scruples kill. 

Biligerence like boils, the bengali snake in coils, 

But only infighting for petty frill. 

Just like the rest of the country,

A rot has set, innocence the first casualty, dead.

Before the corrupt old sits on their pyre. 

Their babies, gurgling bundles of joy,

Are their own instant Maggie masala horror ready made fire.

Unabashed, unrepentant a race, rancid minister represent its face,

The old poets would have had a frown. 

The old bengal which was a premonition of the nation, 

Now a lampoon of the circuses in town.

One of the few scenarios when disaster strikes is one that people easily overlook—their own. But since I've been observing my descent into poverty, I wonder how my final moments might arrive.

Like any normal person working in the US at one point in time, I couldn't think of going from A to B without leaving a carbon footprint. At one high point in my career, Jesus Christ was via Rick Warren driving with me three days a week the two-way unsalubrious distance of 100 miles between Austin and San Antonio. This ended badly when I couldn't accommodate the prophet in my heart (I actually said that), which reset my green card. JP, the person overseeing such conversions of heathens at the Veterans Administration into glorious Christmas gifts, had never met the likes of me. Bless her heart. Ironically, Rick Warren's purpose driven life drove mine off the road. 

For anyone with one foot on this and another in that other boat, I am only employable if the interest is in science; the spillovers I can manage are like hanging out at the Christian mega church, which is just like hanging out with bengali characters foaming at their mouths at a durga puja pandal for me, with internal consternations and hemorrhagic pain (I spent time in the car or at strip clubs or at the museums during the Houston durga puja). But if you ask me point blank my thoughts, you get my thoughts point blank, and often you get sick afterwards.

It turns out that most people live on this earth at the same time as me but really have archaic mindsets that are almost anachronistic. What I've seen is that most of my classmates (eighties) were very primitive logically. I thought I was in school and things would improve; now I'm almost fifty, and I see the children of the children of my classmates generation still dangerously indoctrinated to a plethora of fictional flimflam, albeit going to a pricier school, where again the people at helm are themselves flying happily blind. Just fatter and more clueless. I wouldn't be surprised if they start linear algebra in the nursery but make brain optional for prime-sinisterial level posts. 

After my fledgling enterprise in Hyderabad was squished under the goon and muscle mania of the real power in India, the hooliganity (a word I like), I gained, through growing hardscrabble in the layers, super powers of observation—things that were hidden away from me when I was inside cars or when I stepped out of one, now were revealed. People in city hives have thorns, fangs, claws, and venom, and they don't like each other. Unless you're already clearly a demarcated boss, they'd pull you down and keep you there to suck blood. Nested vampirism and dislocated fulcrums, meaningless customs and truculent attitudes. 

Most fine-tuned Indians detect and abhor the stench of poverty. I see how I'll die on the street. The last time I was beaten with hockey sticks was in Assam, I was still in my tweed; now it'll be different. I walk with a hesitant gait, and one swing will do me in. Where in the affluent past I drove, now it's metro, rickshaw, or I walk. It's the last one where I am more susceptible, and after they figure out it was a wasted swing, they'll kick the erstwhile me in the drain. Where I'll rot into a cadaveric aroma that the genteel get very annoyed when it interferes with darjeeling tea, and then the disposer will cut me up, salvage the meat, and send it to the shady eateries that line the many busy office streets where delectable delicacies drag the office goers from bed. And thus, on many plates, I will find my place, being stuck as bone or flesh in someone's teeth and eventually through feces back to the elements.

It's just strange that you have to be unscientific to do any science at all, even at the highest levels of research, and you can't protest or protect the world from this pernicious harm that irrationality is doing to it. I'm just a weak and annoying squeaky voice that the goons will easily take care of; it was a narrow escape today, so I won't be a long bother, but even after I'm gone, if the world continues like this, it's like redoing everything over and over again. Why send your kids to school with such massive contradictions that you haven't resolved in your own head? Ask yourself when you read my obituary. Look under obligate contrarians. 

 

 

M57 hideous two eyes

Why, how, what, by when, 

And then from the ashes will rise.

The new face who is the one with, 

Macabre gruesome hideous two eyes.

It will pierce with fiery force,

The people who can't say sorry anymore.

Too late in the night, time of blight,

Nothing will be spared from the score.

The lands will be barren and bald,

The crops burnt crisp to a coal shell. 

The sun will descend nearer still,

And scald the world to an incendiary hell.

People like worms will stick like glue,

And like worms will get stir-fried.

No apocalyptic nirvana sauce,

Complacency you may have tried.

The crumbling facade of the tall will first fall,

Then a domino of death will roll.

In a staccato of serial number call,

There will be just an empty gaping hole.

M56 looking for a job

For people such ordinary as we, I see only ennui. The mediocrity is not a sticker but in the spine. Try you might, but it stays on. Very few get to play the snake and ladder game; most just wait for the accursed dot on the dice. The games are rigged where you're born, and then rigged some more by what you can do, and then some more by the rolling of the usually unfair dice. The whole point of a civilization is to minimize chance and let talent and effort make, but we're still an ape just who looks in the mirror and thinks he's all that when he's not.

Time for the dice again. I’ve ventured into the wild, tortuous, and whimsical world of LinkedIn! It’s a land of endless possibilities, meaning it starts but never ends. Where connections are "so plentiful" , and job opportunities are "so hidden," you end up aging fast. Well, I'm 48, unemployed, and still looking, except now, because of my mom's health, I have to upgrade my monthly earnings to more than what a Calcutta street hooker makes an hour. I pine for grander things, but life puts handcuffs on me. 

You get the picture. And I can't sit for any more tests at 48 or sit through meaningless certifications or lie about reality just to fit in. I'd probably end up not getting a peck and being more annoyed than before; old age does that to you. I can't even prove I was in the United States for so many years, which is usually the only thing that seems to get people to notice any merit in a bag of human male skin; that passport is with the goons in Hyderabad, although I have another one now.

In my previous lookouts, I’ve encountered fraudsters. Especially my last experience where I ended up working really hard on myriad projects, all for nothing. And now I'm just bitter about everything. I worked long hours thinking it would come to something. The world is full of as captain haddock used to say bashi bazhouks. Historically, a bashi-bazouk was a type of irregular soldier of the Ottoman army, known for their lack of discipline and order, often compared to mercenaries or bandits. They were notorious for being particularly unruly and were not paid regular salaries but were expected to live off the land, which led to them having a reputation for plundering and robbing local civilians. So be warned many bashi bazhouks with smiley faces that exploit people. 

Anyway, at the sprightly age of 48, I’m ready to dive into new adventures, sans the entrance exams and the myriad of certifications.

My spirit soars high if it finds the right people, ready to explore uncharted territories and make a splash in the professional world! I’m a bundle of joy, wrapped in aged human skin, eager to spread conditional positivity. 

Let's see...and (in case you discriminate) 

I am dark complexioned 

Indian (east) Nationality 

Bengali ethnically 

Bachelor (divorced without kids) 

Heterosexual 

Atheist 

Political: no affiliation whatsoever 

Short height

Fluent in invectives 

M55

M54

M53 I cut my head

I cut my head, I think I'm dead,

Many a trouble it gave me. 

A chronic pain, persistent and vain,

Now as headless, I reign free.

A royal chair made from yeti hair,

I pride when I guide my kingdom own.

What do people know of headless man,

When with heads never sat on a throne?

The gods clap and cheer from the rear, 

They know, I'm more defiant without, than with. 

Marching already, the heathens on the clouds,

To arrest the spooks with their kith.

Nothing holy I say, clay props, clear as day,

Bastards with beards, lunatics I know.

These eight, need to be beaten straight,

After which my urine on their face flow. 

This, that and then, if, will and when,

The nightmare ends before the dawn.

Hopes often fade, false stone not jade,

I laugh when I wake up wet and yawn.

Shimmering the sun, head intact I hum,

The songs of haunting, of the dead.

Head still hollow, bed soaked and yellow,

The grim reaper cackles in my head.

M52 I fart from my heart

I fart I fart, I fart from my heart,

I fart so much that I am pooping.

The gods must know it's diarrhea,

And Imodium is not working.

Just some "egg tarka and roti",

And I am shooting shit like mad.

Hopelessly devoted to the shit god,

Oh my god look I shit something sad.

A pool of shit drool not cool,

The smell is bad too.

The spirit of the time vomited up,

Its miseries in fragrant shit hue.

Devil in this shit I can smell it, 

From what I ate yesterday. 

Clump and lump turds with a thump, 

No manners, no saying namaste. 

M51 Ode to religion

The strange thing is that although we spend quite a lot on the mysterious ways in which the gods work, their efficiency is still quite wanting. Why do I say this? I'll tell you. In the days of easy and cheap wireless telecommunications, when you can sit, in the height of summer, in a burlesque show in Sonagachhi, Kolkata, and order American pizza using an American carrier using a cheap Chinese phone made in Mexico, why can't a god almighty someone not condescend to get into the dream of one of the mustachioed dictators I ask?

At least in a region where floods are happening or about to happen and warn them that if they don't tighten the dams or some proactive such easy fare that can be performed without magic, he, I mean this almighty will, pluck every hair from this, I mean this dictator or official's mustache or pubes one at a time, until it hurts, and then pluck dingle-berries from his unwashed gooch, again one at a time, until it hurts, and so on. You get my point.

But nothing like this ever happens; we, the dictated common commoner, simply succumb to this or that, and it seems, therefore logically, that we are speaking to thin air, as it appears, by the lack of any kind of result or reciprocation.

And because, by definition, we are common, it seems too common to be all too ready to subvert any "absence of doing" by these gods with equal enthusiasm and jubilation as any "doing", by posthoc justifications and blame that is carefully and conveniently chosen to spare the gods. How sad is that for a species that has cleverness in its name—sapiens? Imagine running a private limited company like that, where no matter what, the customers are always too happy to bend over backwards and pay. What a scam, eh? Of course governments do and can run without accountability, which is why they cling on to one religion or another. And through the participation of gods and goddesses, they make the faith weakened commoners come loose at their wits, and sobotage commonsense by mixing logic with lozenges from the ancient which can be flexibly interpreted. 

Dust in your eyes, flotilla of bearded guys,

Smiling sweetly hundreds of years ago.

Lies of mouth now in books,

How can you ever say no.

More I sniff it gets more stiff,

Aww I am a goodly godly man.

I will my wealth renounce,

Jump verily from a cliff, I can. 

I see brilliant light for which I fight,

It may be just some bulbs lit.

But if they say it's god it's god,

I'll kill many in god's grace to fit. 

I lick the floor like no one before,

A slave of superstitious past.

I do things like in ancient lore,

I stone the weak and hold a fast.

I pray and pray, that's what they say,

Makes a bad boy very very good.

The next check I write I add a zero,

I get a blood stained clan hood.

Holy me, holy they, holy hearsay,

Super holy lascivious miss lily. 

I will reach into every pocket,

Naysayers, nay, I will slay silly. 

So I sing holy as hell, I tell,

Tales of fabrication and deceit.

Super pious my soul, so many holes,

I pray at almighty's nonexistent feet.

M50

M49 People full of shit

People full of shit, just way full of it, 

So much they ought to burst. 

I don't know how they hold it in, 

What goes in? Food or shit at first.

Fucking assholes, unreasonable and selfish, 

I hope they all drop dead. 

The world's full of these maggots, 

Now swarming in my head. 

Just sweet their tongue, bitter insides, 

Viper's venom in their hooks. 

They stab you in the back smiling always, 

Shit fucking heinous nefarious crooks.

God on their lips, left right up and down, 

Their assholes stuffed with their books. 

Ostentatiously worded criminal intent, 

The planet is fucked by these spooks.

Like prickly pear, these assholes I fear,

You dare not fuck them unaided.

A battering ram, wham bam,

Until you have peace inside your head.

A gluttonous creed of wanton greed,

They only know how to eat.

Deep in sleep I weep to reap,

The fruits of the seeds at my feet.

These fruits will grow you know,

In the gnashing of the teeth I do.

Into a paste fine, which I dine,

I'll spit the venom like glue.

Fuck this earth like a cat on a hearth,

Yeah and get drunk with witches' ennui. 

Festive the cheer, the Greeks are here,

Start gaping each other's ass, shall we.

Holy the cunt, see what she wants,

God has gaped his ass today.

The snowflakes are true six sided too,

Fuck her bearded saint on a Sunday.

People pleasing greasing asshole, 

Whodunit scarecrow on a stool. 

Shit sprang loose, banana goose, 

Your rectum can't fit the feathers fool. 

I know I can't, arthritic my rant,

The shit I proffer costs only rupee two.

Hold your fart, I come from fine art,

What the hell, how do you do?

M48 Modeling

Most people get confused by "model", it's really just a convenient approximation of reality, that science gives us, either as something very precise, or more of an average, and sometimes just as a convenient shape (like a bell curve for many biological data) to quickly grasp what looking at pages and pages won't give us. My main regret is science and math are communicated badly...

A "model" is an equation or a simpler, portable "substitute for" larger set of cumbersome "Data" points.

The terms "mathematical model", "statistical model", and "data model" are often used interchangeably. 

A mathematical model is typically more precise and accurate than a statistical model, but it is also more difficult to create and use. 

A statistical model is less precise and accurate than a mathematical model, but it is more flexible and can be used to represent more complex systems. 

A data model is the least precise and accurate of the three, but it is also the easiest to create and use.

To understand the difference between the models let's use toys as an example:

1. Mathematical Modeling: 

   - Imagine you have a toy car. You push it, and it moves a certain distance. If you push it harder, it goes further. A mathematical model is like a rule that says, "If you push this hard, the car will go this far."

2. Statistical Modeling:

   - Now, imagine you have a bag of different colored marbles. You want to guess which color you'll pick without looking. A statistical model is like a magic trick that helps you guess the color based on how many of each color are in the bag.

3. Data Modeling:

   - Think of your toy box. You have different sections for cars, dolls, blocks, and so on. Data modeling is like organizing your toy box so you know where each toy goes and can find them easily.

In short:

- Mathematical: rules for how toys work.

- Statistical: guess things about toys.

- Data: organizing a toy box.

Statistical model example:

Imagine you're tracking the salaries of employees in a company over several years. As time goes on, some employees get raises, some stay the same, and some might even take a pay cut.

1. Collecting Sample Points:

   - Instead of analyzing the salary of every employee in the company, you decide to look at a few of them (this is your sample). You record their salaries over the months for years.

2. Drawing the Regression Line:

   - Picture a graph where you plot each month on the x-axis and the corresponding salary on the y-axis. For each employee in your sample, you place a dot based on their salary for that month. 

   - Now, you draw a straight line that best fits these dots. This line represents the general trend of salaries over time.

3. Using the Equation of the Line:

   - The line you drew has a mathematical formula. This formula can predict the average salary of an employee based on the number of years (aggregate of months) they've worked.

In the business world, we assume that the sample of employees we've chosen represents the entire company. If our sample is random and large enough, and the company's salary trends are consistent, our predictions will likely be accurate!

   - So, instead of discussing each employee's salary individually, you can use this model (equation) to get a general idea. It's a simpler way to understand the overall salary trend in the company! 

Data mining and data modeling are two closely related terms in the field of data science. However, they have different meanings and serve different purposes.

Data mining is the process of extracting knowledge from large datasets. This can be done by identifying patterns, trends, outliers, or associations. Data mining is often used to make predictions about future events or to improve decision-making.

Data modeling is the process of creating a representation of data. This can be done by creating a logical model, a physical model, or a visual model. Data modeling is used to understand the data, to make it easier to manage, and to create data-driven applications.

In general, data mining can be used to identify patterns in data, and then data modeling can be used to create a model that represents those patterns for predictions about future events or to improve decision-making.

A hospital might use data mining to identify patients who are at risk for a disease. This information could then be used to create a model that predicts which patients are most likely to develop the disease. This model could then be reused for finding the right patients for preventive measures, such as early screening or treatment.

Hope it's clear now.

And I wanted to add even when we are using laws of physics, because of chaos theory, initial states can create different models, that's why when you see the future path of a hurricane, you'll see, multiple path, this is called ensemble. Reality is complex, and even with our best understanding we are scratching the surface. That's why I'm so vocal about science and math education, and against the dogma filled religious indoctrination that wastes and warps minds. We need more rational minds that can focus on reality than the bullshit and human hubris related stuff all around us. We are the apes that just has a small window of opportunity, if we can take it, we'll do well, or we'll perish together like a layer of scum on this rock.

M47 Hopes go dead

Hopes go dead, despairing head,

A mind tries to sleep it off.

The time seems long, for those forlorn,

The winner on the waylaid scoff.

The grass green where it can't be seen,

The walled gardens of pride.

The city lives like a hive, but not alive,

Its soul is rotten inside.

The earth is big, needs very small,

Smaller still the mind of man.

Every creature inherits a place, but,

We get a feudal or property plan.

I have now nothing, except the sky,

And I think it might rain.

The few books and clothes,

Will get wet, but I can't lose nor gain. 

It's the way things are now,

The tyranny of the few with force.

Money or muscle or morbid theory,

Repetition they scream till hoarse.

The decent or quiet are driven out,

Like the unwanted they're gone.

The rituals of religious rote dote,

On the made up villains they spawn.

It will be night, a storm if it might,

Will make a tree temporary too.

The fences are everywhere and barbed,

Selfish and cruel what is true.

That's where we stand, you understand, 

Many here, the educated with plans. 

We've done what we can, we're bright, 

Yet, ruled by thugs, goons and clans. 

An apple with a pit, poison kit,

This now not a problem for me.

Garden of eden in the city of joy,

Just a middle sort of revelry.

The tree is bare this time of year,

I have no plans or any place to go.

I shall see, if this road from me,

Will have a morning tomorrow.

M46 inside my head.

Cool my head when I paint with my pen, 

The paints then runoff to the side. 

The text are vext, canceled and next, 

A grotesque bird appears to reside. 

"How much mad," they ask if I'm sad, 

"Was he always abnormally bold" 

Growing up like fern, weed astern, 

I never knew I had grown up this old.

Now what others pretend to unsee,

I can't stop my pen from painting free. 

They rise as a mass, declare the crass, 

Is too much for the normal to see.

Truth and trust, transparency all rust, 

The society of sin secretly grieve. 

A creed of greed, vapid valor in seed, 

Imaginary gods make believe.

The false hope, many out of scope, 

Round and bound, echoes of their sound. 

Now and then, again and again, 

I let my pen stand its ground.

Febrile and few, my words in queue, 

I am no match for the mob. 

From my cot, I can only warn of rot, 

Destiny's child now a mother's sob. 

I can only try, words cannot fly, 

They can only be read. 

If you are, indeed reading this, 

You see inside my sordid head.

M45

M44

M43

M42 Every bite a spite

Say what, I shit on your god,

And verily you shit on mine.

We then, shit on each other,

And everything's gonna be fine.

Your shit may be spotty, not god's potty,

Like puked up beet, sweet, you can tell. 

Or like stew broth, heads, froth floating, 

Rotten carcasses, cooked very well. 

In the communion, the priest shits a tonne, 

A stampede of devout on the goodly ground. 

On this hallowed spot, they wallow nonstop, 

Consecrated fat gets mixed by the pound. 

Apposite this shit, fit the mixed manly tits, 

Plenty pious, the puny, and aplenty pinworm. 

Poked and provoked, driven and probed, 

Slithering slime sloppy the spaghetti form. 

A war of shit, tit, zit, flit, with lips bit, 

Start with the fusillade of false pride. 

A tottering turd floating ominously,

With its inherent karma on a side, collide. 

Holy much hope, shit stopper no scope,

The diarrhea of the chosen few. 

"Hey," said the god, a fart, then a nod,

Before his asshole finally blew.

Just a flood, of blood, loud thud,

The dam of patience broken at last.

Freedom as in a game of carrom,

At least the physics can reverse the past.

Top turd has a tumor, but no sense of humor,

Fart bubbles trapped to suddenly burst.

If you step on one, soft squeaky sound,

Remember I told you first.

Shit not wrong, but when shit in a thong,

And sold at an auction for lanky legs.

Sired by a beard, not anyone I feared,

These legs spread wide for full kegs.

The band in this land can be bland, 

The drums beaten with drumsticks. 

Forfeited the forever, a saintly shit saver, 

Bearded whores renowned for their tricks. 

Beseech the gods for anal rods,

Deliverance by FedEx tracking needed.

This then caused a beautiful ruckus,

The fierce tribal turds never heeded.

The gods of force, are now all hoarse,

Imaginary voice sucking a soggy dick. 

Diabetic feet, droopy nephropathic eyes,

Ganesh is out of order, and very sick.

Sanctimonious now, then, whenever when, 

The pious in search of blasphemous ass. 

Must pierce in the middle, that's the riddle, 

Rule over the rump with pomp and gas. 

Who said round, the earth is flat,

The rock was shit splat like this.

The rugged ridges in the forming fart,

Creative pressure in god's piss.

Thus entwined in kiss, heavenly bliss, 

The tongues like gyrating hips. 

Gargantuan hole waiting for a pole, 

These are no ordinary lips. 

Every bite a spite, day becomes night, 

Holy hangs the best in the brood. 

Married to the moon, unmoored tycoon,

His shit always tastes very good. 

Times when, god held cheeks, open, 

To let his fart inaudibly pass. 

But then, garlic to blame, very lame, 

Thousands die inhaling his gas. 

He did now, the kissing to stop somehow, 

Hath not seen fart of this wrath. 

The babies did cry, I did not stay dry, 

Splattered with shit, in need of a bath. 

M41 a beautiful snail

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M40 potholes

Repression and denial are as high a form of art as deep are the cavernous potholes inaugurated by a mix of shoddy road and human moral material, if any.

The nuisance is mainly visible when you fall into it, the rain conspires with the visibility during this month. Broken limbs, lives, wheels, and now "overturned" is the more appropriate adjective, as the ministers and the potholes have both been seen to have massive increases in girth.

The stuff that people who are old-fashioned drag into conversations, like truth, trust, and transparency, doesn't lie on the real number line anymore. Mathematically speaking, they have in India long been rotated to the imaginary axis, so that the normal arithmetic that the laity is taught (I would presume badly) can't even compute these hifalutin things anymore.

Ideally, the pleasure of seeing someone else in a calcutta hole (not the historic black hole of calcutta) is always greater than the pain of suffering a broken part or bearing the brunt or cost of it on yourself, especially if the amount of adipose tissue is conveniently set to cause a splash. The good news is that in the city of joy, there's enough carbohydrates (blatantly as bengali sweets and masquerading as Americanized fructose corn) and not enough common sense in the jostling or sophisticated middle class, and the sedentary lifestyle in the upwardly mobile gravitate by putting on gravity, as exhibit to the gaunt hardscrabble featherweights, that they're certainly better off.

Mostly out of sheer pride and prejudice for the skeletons around them, such podgy princesses don't always look where they're going. The fun is foolproof if the crater is near an open sewer with various amounts of ungulate body parts and human feces that can be clearly seen floating like breakfast oatmeal.

I wouldn't stand around for the splash, but if it does happen and I have an aerial or distant view, I can't say I'm not pleased. There's nothing wrong with getting a hearty laugh in the middle of the day when you're safe and dry, while someone else isn't, who's had a leg up unethically and part of the kakistocracy. Schedefreud the German word for it, and I have a belly full of it for anyone landing in a ditch.

This coincides with dengue season, and since the cosmopolitan mosquitoes on special duty from neighboring Bangladesh are doing overtime, they are rather nasty in their mood swings, and depending on which part of the ditch you splash, a thick cloud of war mantra chanting mosquitoes will arrive over the oversized flesh and start their work. Within a few minutes of screaming and crying, the mass of fat will galumph itself in parts on a rickshaw to wherever such large amounts of fat are accommodated, usually their government quarter or other such large, spacious caves left by the extravagant British.

Spheres in my cheeks, I hate nerds and geeks,

Served ten thousand sweet rosogolla daily.

A girl over a tonne, I blot out the sun,

I bribed into everything, proud bengali.

M39

M38 having a bad duck day

There's a hollow space in my head, that's for sure, that I happen to fall into, an unhappy sort of place that gets invited in when the weather's overcast and gray, the only constant in my kaleidoscope. I try to follow the trail of diminishing marginal utility in the chores I do when I start slipping into these dark moods. Right now, the rain is sort of in a dilemma; it hasn't really quite made up its mind yet. If it's done for the day, the rumbling sound of thunder is sort of an undecided monologued expression that's awfully loud for a soliloquy, even for the sky.

The day had eloped successfully into a hazy Bengali afternoon, orange with the pollution that's now characteristic of the air. The clouds broke the color space and upset the usual boundaries of the sky for the birds. A few birds are doing what birds do, and I don't know what that is, superficially to me, noise. Everything is noise, and the absence of it is really what is good for me. That's why I crave sleep; the few hours that I get are just a simulation of my absence here. I don't really matter to most people; there's just an oversupply; the rock's just coated with this infestation. Slime. A few less, at least ones that aren't of any consequence like me, would make the remaining broth healthy. 

I'm just the rancid type that form the unsavory ruinous rubble, bubbles, which froth and foam into societal scum that's bad for everyone. The rainbows on these bubbles are as evanescent as the memories of the echoes of the laughter that once belonged to me—a forever ephemeral, fantastic, merry mirage that burst with the bubbles, spending what little color it had into the meaningless gray. Eventually morbid cackles of a demented mad man possessed with metaphors and schedefreud, the outpost for most that forget to lose gracefully. At least there needs to be more room; unless we exit, where's the room to fit the newcomers? I see people who have just been born already in the same job market; if I don't expire honorably, I encourage them to push me off a cliff. I hear some want to live forever.  

Then again, I think, whenever my thinking isn't cloudy, that this is an island of meaning for the atoms that keep the space supposed to be me, me. I mean, they're never really the same atoms, but semantically, it's still me. I'm just another piece of information, really, that's alive, and the universe is a bigger clump of it. And although unfortunately and regrettably, the constraints that I'm dealing with have some challenges, it's by definition supposed to be this way; otherwise, it wouldn't make any entropy sense. When the only road points in all four directions, a peripatetic itinerant can either start questioning the geometry of his existence and go mad or look at the dot in the gray center of that nowhere and be willing to bet on a voyage. I know, I'm not making any sense, just another weird duck that's... (no, I can't use a bad word. I promised) having a bad duck day, I guess.

M37 I can write and sketch for food.

Haddock without his vocabulary is almost like having no teeth. Many not born in the caveman days like me (1975) may not have even heard of Tintin, Haddock, or his blistering barnacles, but those still alive or on life support please say yay. I say this, as I was eluding to it in my last post, I have to walk on eggshells with words. The very people of the world throwing bombs at each other for imaginary fathers and territories are shocked by the mention of remnants in the chemical contraption, an evolutionary digestive tube I think we ought to be rather proud of. And they are disturbed by my popular and tersely elaborated rendition of the human reproductive organs and their functions, which at my age,  being in sparse use, I can only bring into conversations. 

It's a pity that we are prudes, ashamed of the wrong things, and I, as an alien from outer space (I like to think), can see the irony in what the species finds embarrassing. The text for this post, has been floating in my head like flatulence, a gentlemanly word I'm told I can use, except that it doesn't change the fact that at fifty or near, things get shifty with garam masala. I'm often given the false impression of an elevated state of matter by my rectum, when the fact of the matter after sphincter labor is a soiled mind, bed, and often nation.

I worry about getting buried in heavier things while, in the process of releasing the troubles of my intestines, like it must have happened in Morocco. A new fear unlocks itself, and I can't find my head. This is really a relief in India, where contradictions are the norm. The headless man in his bathroom, dreaming stuff up, isn't at all anything new; this is really just, if I may say something, trifle mainstream in India. Of course, I'm just in the minority of the decrepit wrecks who come out of that room only to go in again and repeat; most of the other examples are the only one time in a day, confident, usually well groomed, intelligent, and erect shadows of characters that run the nation. 

I have to prepare a resume that reads:

I can write and sketch for food.

I don't know if anything else will be sustainable or truthful to what the world can support or what my cellular system as a whole can execute under the cover of that name I've used before; that person doesn't live here anymore; he's moved on without a forwarding address. Everything I allege I could do in the past, there's a million hands raised, who can shout louder and have crayons decorating their curated parallel universe of make-believe curriculum vitae, and now with AI, how do I compete?

I'm an inveterate stickler, too old to be cute, too bold to be mute, while everyone else is younger, prettier, and can bend over backwards, with compatible lubrication satisfying the latest requirements for sucking up to the politics of the day. They don't get up many times to make sure the state of matter is indeed gas and not liquid or solid. Am I past my usefulness on this planet of apes? 

M36 Fancy a lotus

Haddock without his vocabulary is almost like having no teeth. Many not born in the caveman days like me (1975) may not have even heard of Tintin, Haddock, or his blistering barnacles, but those still alive or on life support please say yay. I say this, as I was eluding to it in my last post, I have to walk on eggshells with words. The very people of the world throwing bombs at each other for imaginary fathers and territories are shocked by the mention of remnants in the chemical contraption, an evolutionary digestive tube I think we ought to be rather proud of. And they are disturbed by my popular and tersely elaborated rendition of the human reproductive organs and their functions, which at my age,  being in sparse use, I can only bring into conversations. 

It's a pity that we are prudes, ashamed of the wrong things, and I, as an alien from outer space (I like to think), can see the irony in what the species finds embarrassing. The text for this post, has been floating in my head like flatulence, a gentlemanly word I'm told I can use, except that it doesn't change the fact that at near fifty, things get shifty with garam masala. I'm often given the false impression of an elevated state of matter by my rectum, when the fact of the matter after sphincter labor is a soiled mind, bed, and often nation.

I worry about getting buried in heavier things while, in the process of releasing the troubles of my intestines, like it must have happened in Morocco. A new fear unlocks itself, and I can't find my head. This is really a relief in India, where contradictions are the norm. The headless man in his bathroom, dreaming stuff up, isn't at all anything new; this is really just, how do I say this, become a trifle mainstay in India. Of course, I'm just in the minority of the decrepit wrecks who come out of that room only to go in again and repeat; most of the other examples are the only one time in a day, confident, usually well groomed, intelligent, and erect shadows of characters that run the nation. 

I have to prepare a resume that reads:

I can write and sketch for food.

I don't know if anything else will be sustainable or truthful to what the world can support or what my cellular system as a whole can execute under the cover of that name I've used before; that person doesn't live here anymore; he's moved on without a forwarding address. Everything I allege I could do in the past, there's a million hands raised, who can shout louder and have crayons decorating their curated parallel universe of make-believe curriculum vitae, and now with AI, how do I compete?

I'm an inveterate stickler, too old to be cute, too bold to be mute, while everyone else is younger, prettier, and can bend over backwards, with compatible lubrication satisfying the latest requirements for sucking up to the politics of the day. They don't get up many times to make sure the state of matter is indeed gas and not liquid or solid. Am I past my usefulness on this planet of apes? 

M35

M34 Felis Catus

I probably would be happy with a felis catus in my life, but I live alone, and I travel often and even where I stay, including things like the continent change, which are valid reasons not to get one. Plus, I've come down in the world. Significantly. I'm extremely hard up, make just about enough to barely eke out an independent survivalist life—you know, the usual hand-to-mouth, bread-line fare but without the strangulations.

Animals are way better than anything an unmedicated or genetically unedited homo sapiens can hope to be, especially cats; they don't pretend. They've retained that wild, unchained attitude towards life that sort of reflects my own in a way.

Of course, I don't have the "righting reflex"; if you throw me from the top of a bookcase, I'll land splat, with injuries that'll last a lifetime. It'll put me in diapers, or I might just die. I also can't jump five times my height; I can't jump at all. I have too much respect for gravity. And a compressible spine that aids running? Nah, I don't have that either. If you compress my spine, I thank you, and I die promptly; no running around is needed. I am really a simple stationary man, like a stationery item, for example. Just good enough for very few things. Limited. Not as versatile as a cat.

But I love all animals, including insects. I think they have equal rights to exist. We sapiens are with our livestock now at almost 97%, with the wild at only 3%. If we let this carry on, the joke will be on us. Naturally. No pollinating insects, all the major cycles lost, and in the end, no crops, no fish, no birds—just us fighting each other over hairy imaginary men who don't agree with each other and used to fight over other hairy imaginary men and so on ad infinitum men and hair all the way—religion.

Unless we can chew plastic, homo hemlock starves along with all its various types of invisible gods and goddesses and bullshit. In India, the textbooks have cut evolution and the periodic table along with the mughals. While my parents were Hindu, I never really got indoctrinated. I fail to understand why we have to feel proud by exclusion, by forcing ancient dregs that just can't float on the surface anymore because we just know more and know better.

It's really sad that all the ministers eat moghlai parotas and send their kids to schools and universities abroad while they cripple and sabotage the education system, which would create billions of unprepared minds who'd grow up confused. Perhaps luddites, perhaps Hindu fundamentalists, they hope. But egregious omissions create unemployable and depressed youth that won't know how to decipher reality. Why can't we be just humans, like cats, dogs, and pinsorms? Why Hindu, Sikh, Muslim, Christian, or this or that?

I'm sure LinkedIn will cancel my account again. I really should shut up. But I can't; the cat in me says meow.

M33

M32

M31 G20

The G20 is just another weasel tube of asymmetry for capitalists that have these 20 participating nations that superficially at least pretend that there's a burden for the citizens back home and not their owning businesses. But this time all the makeup is sort of coming off, since it's happening in India, where contradictions like this are so pedestrian that there's no point pretending. In fact, the hardened Indian who's used to a daily dose of corruption might not even notice the rift in promise and performance in global bodies.

And they're quite used to saluting people with white skin, and reminiscent of British India, the special guests and the Indian Maharaja and his courtiers and vassals are on a separate space-time continuum for all practical purposes. At least on this pretext, the capital looks a little bit like the clean room of a bachelor's, expecting a special lady. The bachelor, a dictator, who otherwise never bothers to clean his eternally disheveled palace capital, hardly wants to stay in his country, unless there's something to celebrate or inaugurate. 

The underlying assumptions for the people who are seasoned pickles with magnifying prying eyes are that this is just another photo opportunity that will reinforce the iron fist rule of the Maharaja for another term and allow his favorites enough time to make the fortunes they have manifest destinies for, usually a luxurious life abroad with unimaginable, gargantuan, undisclosed Swiss bank accounts.

Which is all very good, except that most ordinary people don't understand or don't care, as long as their fractal selfish mini-universe isn't handicapped in any way, mostly out of inculcated democratic hubris as electorate, self-denial, commiserate complicity with the status quo, and as long as any flimflam allows them opportunities for infinite selfies, which this one does at guarded distance.

While the pointless opposition, chastened bystanders and mangy dogs have been all either not invited, cordoned off or unceremoniously boxed in, tongue tied or made busy with other basic survival needs, or consuming and entertaining conspiracies, the G20 will perhaps only open doors for the friends of the rich, the corrupt, and the politically connected, based on the history of the prior shindigs. The Gini index further deteriorates in the foreboding of the ceremony, a blatant classification of the haves and the nots.

The whole world is in the pockets of the wealthy, so the unconcern for the other classes isn't at all a bother. In fact, by being so ostentatiously open about it, the G20 is yet another reason why the middle class and the poor should really worry about what representations mean for them, if anything. Anyway, G20 has finally found the right soil that fit its transparency requirements, where questions are taboo, and the press are circus clowns, willing to do impossible acrobatics with the truth at the behest of the Maharaja. 

On one end of the spectrum, we'll introduce linear algebra and programming in nursery, while ironically, in the qualifications needed to lead the nation, an educational waiver is almost a constitutional guarantee, while as necessary political traits, we covet a sage like quiet senile biligerence, wanton disrespect for humanity, a fixation for corruption, a will to proffer various naming schemes at times when the looting can be done, and generally a proclivity towards autocracy. 

Sure, Bharat sounds as good a place as India is for the commoner, since for him nothing will happen except wasted years in the name of this or that. None of loot will ever make to the common man, trapped by the intentionally inscrutable laws that tie him down to lead a life that is the reverse of the excesses that are allotted to those who write these terse terms and will now be dining in gold and silver plates, breaking into helpless whoops of laughter as they're served the rarest Indian delicacies, while only within a few minutes from them many go to bed without a roof or food, nondescript, nonessential, nonentities, whose lives were extirpated, bulldozed, ceremoniously in public for the ostentatiously ineffective G20 in doing nothing about the very world in which this group exists, except for killing more trees and spending more money making fruitless promises they never intend to deliver on.

Too many hungry mouths, later in nightmares, with tongues parched dry like a desert, and the naked greed showing in the empty space in the orbits where the eyes should've been. Dark circle under those, adding just another dimension of unreason to the inequality and making the leaders vomit up whatever they had eaten.

M30 সোজা আঙ্গুলে ঘি ওঠে না