My bladder I void, in schadenfreude,
What you ask friends are for!
rubbing salt over open wounds,
Wishing for more blood and gore
For old time's sake, the smiles are fake.
Now the fuss is more sophisticated.
Me-me, I-I, something ulterior you try,
Promise you'll stay, but quickly flee instead.
Shit talk you choose, diarrhoea very loose,
Secrets then get scattered willy-nilly.
Manipulative and strong, gaslighting into wrong,
Unselfishness today is extremely silly.
If ever they ask for a loan, be quick to groan,
Declare bankruptcy or the death of a near kin.
Spread the happy tale, sell what they confide,
Prick them with the sharpest envy pin.
Sharpen your knife, add strife to their life,
Ensuring their luck fucked everywhere.
Once ass gaped, make sure you raped,
Their asshole like a romantic affair.
If you offer a job, the dignity must go.
Lead them to a metaphorical brothel.
Make promises that you don't intend to keep.
Hold payments to ensure a literal hell.
Boasting or ghosting a quantum thing,
By default, it's always their stupid fault.
Rhetorical and religious self-righteousness add
Salted tribal acrimony to the gestalt.
Direct the friend to a convenient end,
Vain steps taken must lead to pain.
Ensure the plight, with no support in sight,
Rinse and repeat until none remain.
Poison their tea during "ha ha hee hee,"
Point out their flaws in detail with your claw.
Scratch deep into the dermis, repeat the piss,
Try to invest in a portable chainsaw.
If friends die, as a vigilant spy,
Let the goons fuck their family into ho.
Take everything they had, pretending you're sad,
Give names like "fuck face loser suvro."
Sell their pretty daughters, if any.
To a retributive, sadistic torture harem,
Any son, career of a thug, must start drugs,
ensure they grow up as broken men.
Happy the henpecked, leery spouse's arms decked,
Include your dears; make them gag with glee.
Leave the scene of the torture pronto,
Repeat and iterate on the helpful spree.
Words are your friend, fluff compliments no end,
Make sure you don't really pay attention.
Repeat hurtful questions again and again.
Sweeteners used unsparingly for distortion.
If they're about to drown, be in town.
Offer a plan to save, then plan your miss.
Repeat this to exhaust the struggle, on and on.
Say eureka when they're tits up in your piss.
