I'm old and frail, my life derailed,
I smoke to see the curves.
Diminishing returns from this I get,
Just to calm my anxious nerves.
Walked too far but didn't move an inch,
Just the same boy in an older head.
Can't recognize the face in the mirror,
This man ought to be dead.
Lonely and as unloved as you can get,
Ostracized by the popular crowd.
I've squandered my earlier gains,
On dreams I'm still quite proud.
Not necessary that you succeed,
Not important that you reach.
What is important is you must persist,
And always do what you preach.
I should be a dazzling jewel,
But wonder where the glow went.
Billions of people hustling all at once,
All my patience and age spent.
I can't fall asleep at night,
The memories of past years haunt me.
All I see are nightmares of
Drownings in a dark stormy sea.
I can't breathe or think,
I float like flotsam, in the night.
Adrift in a cold cruel selfish sea,
I veer deeper into the sleeping fright.
I breathe in the sea, my lungs break free,
I sink struggling with pain.
The end is a searing search for meaning,
That ends without any answer or gain.
