Assortment of shit, always superhit,
Each one has a tale to tell.
The one unifying universality,
My shit has an obnoxious smell.
Turd in a turd, not very hard,
If you are in the loo for long.
I often hunt for boogers,
Or play with my frustrated schlong.
My shit smells so bad, that nations go mad,
People bite each other's pubic parts.
Everything is game, silly and lame,
Worse are my Beethoven farts.
I can play, like a flute made from clay,
Tunes that make the gods retch.
Holy the cloud, when they're loud,
My farts more decibels fetch.
Always a rainbow to look, I get hooked,
My turds are wonderfully shaped.
Many a ecosystem it will now feed,
Now that my ass it escaped.
I sing a song, with my tongue ding dong,
It's a holy cow I beseech.
Yesterday ironically I must say,
It was all beef on the beach.
Now as turd, oh holy god,
I am heading headlong to hindoo hell.
At each of the seven layers*,
I hear they test your shit for smell.
Days of ass rape, extended holy gape,
At the hand of holy hindoo witch.
At the end they throw my entrails,
In an infinitely regressing ditch.
And there I rot, a common shit pot,
The angels piss in it.
Everything eventually degrade,
Only worried for a little bit♤.
*
These realms are:
Tamisra: A realm of darkness and intense heat, where souls are fucked for committing violent or cruel acts.
Andhatamisra: A realm of total darkness, where souls are fucked for committing crimes of deception or fraud.
Raurava: A realm of intense pain and suffering, where souls are fucked for committing violent or cruel acts.
Kumbhipaka: A realm where souls are fucked by being boiled in oil or other hot liquids like piss, for committing sins related to food and drink. This is where I go for eating beef. They turn the heat down if the cow I ate was homosexual.
Taptakumbhi: A realm where souls are fucked by being roasted in fire, for committing sins related to sex and lust. Totally cool.
Maha-Raurava: A realm of even more intense ass pain and suffering, where souls are ass fucked for committing extremely heinous acts.
Kala-Naraka: A realm of eternal darkness, where souls are fucked in the dark for committing the most severe sins.
♤ These realms are not considered to be eternal, but rather a temporary state of fucked, after which the soul is reborn into another asshole and may continue to progress towards spiritual liberation, another way of saying recycled matter and energy in poorer nations in Sanskrit.
