I put drugs in my ass, I promise it's not crass,
Bypass the liver thanks to a book on my shelf
You heard me right, often at night,
Is when I crave to forget myself.
The beast in me wants to feast on me,
I don't want to give in or die, a coward, not me.
I'll find the light at the end of the long nights,
Muddle through this inconsolable misery.
I'm lonely and upset, I always fret,
About the things I want or find.
Or more recently the things beyond my control,
Are the thoughts carroming in my mind.
Obsessive thoughts intrusive as hell,
At night I'm an overdriven clown.
That's when I need the pills in my ass,
To calm the shit fucking down.
It's not always easy, the drugs make me queasy,
And I end up in a pool of filthy cast.
Shit and piss, vomit and snot,
I'm a piece of art from the past.
I don't know what to do, don't know I am who,
Neurosis is an understatement.
My brain is full of words and pictures,
I don't know which way my mind is bent.
The walls are all around, I've found,
And high reaching the stars in the sky.
The stilts I need for an escape,
Must gravity defy and fly.
But I'm not superman, I sit on a pan,
Stuffed with pills in my ass.
My life is shit, or whatever is left of it,
Is anhedonia, miasma and putrid gas.
The grass I smoke, the wine and moonshine,
Does wonders within my throat.
I feel at ease, I feel the breeze,
Life becomes a honeymoon boat.
It doesn't last long, like ping pong,
The opposite mood leaps surreptitiously.
Down I sink in the hole, without a soul,
Inside a destructive depressive me.
