I toot my trumpet all the time
That's how you market yourself hot
A hidden speaker makes it loud
Always pretend what you're not
That's really what your lips should yap
A flurry of daring drivel
It doesn't matter what lie or how
Smoke and mirrors and artful chisel
It's the outside that matters
Make sure the cosmetics stay on
At least until you fleece them bare
Until the game is clearly won
The body language must be immaculate
Must not overdose them with the act
Appear variegated but carefully so
Curate deception into fact
Talk about truth in circular definitions
Chew the chatter into a paste
Smile and agree nodding all the way
Tune the timing to your taste
Bare your teeth with a pleasant theme
Never a rancid grin
Stoop as low as gravity allows
Flattery is a curious thing
What mountain is higher than ego
Higher still when yours sink
Spoon feed what they want to hear
Praise until it really stinks
Babble bullshit in strident tones
That's what fetches the premium price
Draw attention to things you never did
Claim world hunger in a frivolous trice
Once the matter is in your hand
Who cares what anybody thinks
Keep the trumpet at all times
Never know what a toot can bring
