As a member of club sapiens
I'm the worst one you can find
Glued to couch a side of my ass
A completely useless mind
Drink and piss eat and shit
That's all I can ever do
Dim damp deceptive brain fog
Harried over paltry clues
Plus my shit stinks up the flats
I fear the neighbors can smell it too
Strangely though my farts are sweet
I invite you to my loo
I understand your discomfort
Want your turds to always float
Dogmatic thrust hard feces first
Forever god's goodly goat
Gods don't have assholes you think?
If they piss it's just rain?
Their stool you reason are fools like me
That cause all the mortal pain?
A causal salad just like anyone else
An oddity, shitty and witty I think
The sulphurous fumes from me at times
Silly solipsistic stink
I'm only a tube for food
Sorry can't make it sound grand
Burgers to shit, beer to piss
Nothing I can do with my hand
I'm full of shit twenty four seven
Defecation is what I do best
I savor the feel of the loose and limp
Scarcely do I shit in haste
Plus my teeth is crooked bones weak
Don't know what else I could be
I'm just a waste of space and time
It's my holes that define me
Unremarkable puckered brown asshole
And a penis that's sexually weak
Not star material for porn for sure
Just a a general household freak
Surrounded by pointless people
Pointless your shit to hide
Bloated belly endless hot gas
My ass cheeks are sticky inside
Worms belching a satisfying burp
I make sure they get the food they need
It's them and me that's all I see
Sometimes I spill my seed
This life is spent I grind my teeth
Making the frothy circles in the pit
But just yesterday I forgot to flush
A plant grew from my shit
