A lot of people who haven't met me in a long time, or met me in India but only dressed in formals and blessed with money, wouldn't be quite sure if it's the same person that writes these posts or if it's a different demonic presence inside that erstwhile soft-spoken, apparently gullible, affable, (who'd easily pass for) a decent chap without any apparent head leaks dripping brain matter.
To be honest, I have doubts about my sanity all the time, but even if this hypergraphia version of me, this diarist, is of any good, at least it's more articulate. That last model was an unhealthy repressed type. And way too gullible. And if I'm mad, to the extent to which you might think it's an outlier that's not worth the bother, at least I should endeavor to examine this life, this insanity, since, at least for posterity, such ramblings inscribed, if not for science, might make for an entertaining session when taking a dump.
The fact of the matter is that under the few layers of apparel and perfume, the weird palimpsest inside is no different than the a naked ape with language. Which is no different than every other organ stripped bare, leaving just the brain and the various consciousness inside it. It’s like peeling back the layers of the onion, each layer more revelatory and eye-watering than the last. Are we truly one person in this bag of skin, or is there more underneath?
And sorry to burst the bubble, we all have many different people inside us, just visit olypub bar on park street (now mother teresa sarani) on the right night; some are repressed and lead to trauma, some are cosmetic who feign, and some are mechanistically easy to spring out once you know the right combination key. I've suffered many lifetimes of many people in one brain, and so that repressed guy had to lose the chair to this more unadulterated flavor of me.
I know it sucks. The truth always does. But if I succeed, a lot of people will benefit around the world. What that polite guy was trying to do and what this apparently belligerent and boorish avatar is doing are still the same nerdy software thing. I haven't deviated from my course; it's just that I have no other option but to be blunt about the way the world is, because people aren't, and like physics, a lot of things in business depend on reliable and repeatable truths; otherwise, you just get nothing, zero, null, zilch, naught, void, empty, nonexistent, zip, nix..
I don't know anyone powerful enough in India to make a difference. I thought I did, but they were all grifters; the whole nation is full of them, grifters who are relatives of grifters, grifters who pretend to be this on Monday that on Sunday, a hall of mirrors. Or people who are just logs of feces, but with Dunning and Kruger. Most are plain liers who were weaned off to a diet of solid lies and have perfected it since. So, now I can't trust anyone here, or I'll lose the remaining pair of socks and underwear. And you don't want to see me like that.
