Dear mom,
I just got a pet. It's a human. Very tame. A little lazy. Shits a lot, but they say it's better than the last one I was forced to eat. My last wife ran off with another crow. What a cocksucker. Well you can't trust the bitches anymore. Thank god the nest is still mine and I made omelette of the eggs.
Love ya.
Kakashi kakakoko.
