I shit from my nose, I know it's gross,
But my asshole is stapled shut.
Actually it was leaking gas,
That burnt down my only shitty hut.
Yes, now that's all solved,
For the love of all that is holy.
From my nose I now shit,
I fart from my mouth very slowly.
Yes my social life would've bombed,
But since people think I'm into rats.
The traffic to my alley is less,
Except for strangers and stray cats.
The hairs in my nostrils,
Are stoically straight.
The smell from my asshole climbs up,
No significant miss in my fate.
But my pubic hair I proudly declare,
Is oily, thick, and curly, black.
The lice I grow is friendly and nice,
They come out, when I hit the sack.
My balls are extra plump, the scrotum glum,
I scratch my balls when I piss.
My dick is extra thick, like god's prick,
But too short to please most miss.
My cum is yum but according to some,
Watery and wanting in amount.
Milky but dreadfully inadequate for tea,
But it's my feelings that I hold paramount.
I totally enjoy a bubble bath,
During a total solar eclipse.
Otherwise with languor, dip my toe tip,
In the froth of fresh warm piss.
