A bachelor's life is full of strife,
I tug on my dick quite a lot.
I sit on a chair and touch my tit,
I blow a wad of cum on the spot.
The cum dribbles down my chin,
I stick my tongue out for taste.
Meanwhile the girl in the movie,
Wipes cum from her face in haste.
I decide the movie plot was vacuously thin,
I snuggle up to my pillow to sleep.
I notice It takes only ten seconds,
To orgasm every week.
It's not even four times in a month,
The pressure is rarely high.
Only a decade ago,
The needle was stuck to the sky.
That's how it is, and even the piss,
Doesn't have the strength at all.
Before, the torrent could blow a hole,
Or collapse a weakened wall.
But the farts make me proud,
I can be heard through concrete thick.
The hair in my nostrils and on my asshole,
Could make anyone indeed very sick.
I eat a lot and shit a lot more,
That's a middle-aged person for you.
The only other thing that's good,
Is a memory that remembers few.
But I'm not really that fat, an imaginary cat,
Likes to shit on my calcutta bed.
A city of selfish semi-literate, where I live,
Nitwits with vacuum in their heads.
Astrologically I'm a putrid pile of poop,
That could ruin anyone's horoscope chart.
Most people hate my plump hairy balls,
Because always on their face I fart.
Straight up bullshit reigns supreme here,
The politicians, the lowest morality souls.
If I ever manage a strong erection,
I swear to god, I'll fuck their holes.
Corrupt mustachioed oily goons,
Flaunt their shit all the time.
While the educated live in abject poverty,
Honesty is honestly a big fault of mine.
I'm unusually full of anxious worms,
That feast on my asshole at night.
They make me grit my teeth a lot,
My gums now live in fright.
My sweat stinks like compost, the boogers make you think,
Flies spend their lifetime on my skin.
Overall, the package as I approach the end,
Makes hairs on my head balding thin.
But that's how life is folks,
That's fucking how it is.
Now I've to run to the bathroom again,
To take this night's millionth piss.
