I'm not a good character,
My scales have venomous spite.
A sheltered nocturnal life I prefer,
It's always your ass I bite.
I hunt down when hungry,
Killing only for food,
But I hate people that hate me,
For them I'm not particularly good.
I skin them and lick the wound,
Until the blood peters out.
They are alive in small pieces I eat,
Screaming imprecations down my spout.
The genitals are a delicacy,
I'm a delicate being in many ways,
I dance a jig, swear like a pig,
Slice them on my tray.
Don't ever fuck with me,
You'll regret you were ever born,
Your eyeballs with extra pain,
I'll have them personally torn.
I sell pickled eyeballs,
A lot of buyers, never a dearth.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I want to enjoy one by my hearth.
