My asshole has shutdown
So I shit from my mouth
I know it's almost the impossible
Like penguins don't live south
But you must admit
I know my asshole the best
And being suspicious
I've run a battery of tests
I've tried to push a toothpick in
Don't worry it failed
Some sort of conspiracy afoot
My asshole is jailed
I'm profoundly retarded people said
And they rolled their eye
I hadn't said I couldn't pass gas
I did and watched them die
It makes me retch just imagining shit
Or the mere act of remembering
Plus the color's a turbid yellow
And no turds to merrily fling
Ahoy ye the gods of wanton gore
Strike the blazing thunder now
Please unclench my tight anus
In a showoff of divine knowhow
What on flat earth could be wrong with me
Would I now have a swooning fit?
Feeling crummy in my tummy
I'm not proud about my stinking vomit
But clutch your crystal balls I tell you
Or grab and hold on to your hairy balls
The day will come one day
When this civilization falls
I swear a prophecy on my puke
In strident voice declare
What made my asshole shut up
Will strip the nation threadbare
People will be dead but still live
Wandering carcass with rotten stench
Lugubrious time a sad sad pantomime
Know what caused the sphincter to clench
Who wants to listen to an erratic
The authoritarian hypothesis is here to stay
I miss my turds I miss myself
The collective puke now the dominant fray
