This is my finger lean and long
Intend to insert it into your bum
Need to take your temperature now
The thermometer is in your mum
Won't be long but don't hold your breath
I'll wriggle it around a bit to fit
You can fart if you want or shit
I carry a cleaning kit
Now hold steady here I come
What's that - "it's a little tight"
Of course it is, my darling child
Sickness always a sorry plight
In and out in and out
I completely forgot the grease
Will you mind if I increase the girth
And add another piece?
This one isn't that long
Maybe a little thicker and hairy
It's more accurate and gets you high
The milk is better than dairy
Feels good old lad feels good
You've milked the last drop from me
How I wonder what you are
I've gaped you big I see
I'll post your pictures next
You'll make me proud and rich
Tell your mum you don't have fever
Hurry back for a bleeding stitch
