I was a deer in the headlight
Fingered by a rabid snake
That was the nightmare
Absolutely no mistake
Embarrassed to say
I kinda egged it on
An artful reptilian finger
Less probable than a lottery won
Rubbed behind the prostrate gland
It used the finger like a ram
To pleasure a man it knew how
River of drool burst its dam
But in the end it was strangling me
Unceremoniously proceeded to eat
When I screamed in deer panic
I fell and the floor hit the feet
I wonder what Freud would've said
Especially since an asshole played a part
The old man must've contrived a case
Suffered an attack of the heart
But I don't mind being eaten
Especially by a big bad hot snake
My life sucks really really sad
Not even death would bother to peck
But now the snake has my shit
Caked on its index digit
Or is it the other way around
Because I don't feel that fit
What if it didn't pull the finger out
And it's still lodged in my ass
Would I defecate a finger next
Would it come flying out with gas
I'm worried because
I'm basically just a hollow thing
Food drops through gravity unassisted
And thankfully would never cling
But now I have a grievous doubt
A finger in my ass no less
I'll have to check my feces now
Sweet smiling jesus, what a mess
